A Girl's Day Out
by broadwaygirl257
Summary: SEQUEL to the Grass is Always Greener! What if Christine and Meg made the same bet Erik and Raoul did? Who will win? Who will go insane first? Please R and R! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_**A Girl's Day Out**_

Chapter One: A Very Stupid Bet

**Author's Note**: Hey everyone! O.K., I deleted my Phantom's Bride story (more info about that huge catastrophe on my profile) cause of too many mistakes, bad reviews, and it just plain stunk, so I'm back and writing this story for your guy's enjoyment instead.Well, since everybody that read the story _The Grass is Always Greener _requested a sequel, I decided to write one for you guys. Happy now :) And please excuse all the errors I'm sure will be in this chap.

First of all, anyone that's reading this that hasn't read _The Grass is Always Greener _that's reading this, stop, and zip over to my profile and read it first before you go any further, because (obviously) you need to read the first story before you read the sequel. For the other readers that have read _The Grass is Always Greener_, hope you'll enjoy this story just as much! **PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**!I'd like to possibly have 10 or 15 reviews per chapter! That would be cool! Okay, shutting up now!

P.S. As I said before, even though the fic's set in 1870 France, there will be a lot of modern objects and language in it. Please don't flame me in the reviews.

**Summary**: What if Christine and Meg made the exact same bet Erik and Raoul made? Who will win? Who will go insane first! (This fic takes place exactly where _The Grass is Always Greener_ left off.) Enjoy!

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**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, yada, yada, yada.

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Well, as I said, Erik and Raoul's plan worked marvelously for about a year, until Christine discovered what they were really doing and had an absolute fit. She had decided to go visit Erik and Raoul, and tell Raoul it was time to go home. Meg decided to come with her too. So, they both drove to the bowling alley where they thought Erik and Raoul were. 

"Hey Christine" Meg said as they were pulling in the parking lot "Maybe we should go bowling while Erik and Raoul finish their game."

"Meg" Christine said "It's already eight o' clock. Raoul's up way past his bedtime"

"Christine, don't you think you're just a tad bit strict with him? He's an adult. He can take care of himself"

Christine had another fit "Oh, great! Just because I care about him, you think I'm strict! You think I'm too overprotective is that it? I'm no fun to be around, am I ? I'm too mean, is that what you and Raoul think? You guys were talking about me, I can't believe-"

Meg could sense where this was going, so she interrupted. "Christine, look at the big, glow in the dark sign up there! Isn't it pretty?" she asked, knowing Christine had an attention span of about two seconds

"Ooh, yeah, it is! That's pretty! And so shinny!" she said as she and Meg got out of the car. They headed inside and started to look for the boys.

" I don't see them anywhere" she said. Christine immediately flipped out.

"OH MY GOD! Maybe they got hurt! Or killed! Or dropped a bowling ball on themselves and broke their leg! Or got their hands stuck in the ball and cut off their circulation! Or-"

"CHRISTINE!" Meg broke in. "Let's just ask an employee if they're here tonight!"

"Okay" Christine said whimpering. She followed Meg to the management desk.

"Excuse me" Christine asked worriedly "Are Raoul de Changy and Erik here tonight?"

The employee looked up "Well, what's Erik's last name Ma'am?"

She looked confused "I dunna know. I don't think he has one. Maybe he signed in as the Opera Ghost. Or the Angel of Music. Or The Phantom of the Opera. Maybe he-"

Meg put a hand over Christine's mouth "Look, did you see two guys, one with a mask and cape and one looking like an extremely girlish fop-"

"Hey! That's my husband you just called an extremely girlish fop! Oh no, wait, never mind, he is an extremely girlish fop. Continue." Christine broke in

Meg groaned "Did they come in here?" Meg asked

The employee looked bored "No. The entire place's been booked for some senior citizen's retirement party."

Not even bothering to respond, Christine ran out to the car, dragging Meg along behind her.

"Owww, Christine! You're gonna pull my arm out! Let go!"

"Sorry Meg." They got in the car, and Christine revved it up. "Ooh, I can't believe Raoul isn't here! He told me he's always here on Thursday nights! Where could he be?"

"Maybe he's over at Erik's place" Meg suggested

Christine glared at her "Why would he be there?" She gasped "Oh my god! Raoul must be cheating on me! Maybe he's in an affair! Oh my god, what if he's gone out and married someone else! And I thought our relationship was fine! Ooh, how could I be such a-"

"Christine! Who in the hell would he have an affair with!" Meg asked impatiently. She and Christine were planning on going shopping, and Meg wanted to get on with it.

" I don't know. Maybe Carlotta. He always had a thing for Italian chicks."

Meg sighed "Just drive over to Erik's place. They're probably watching sports or something"

Christine gasped "They better not be. Raoul knows that sports games are to violant for him to watch!"

Meg sat for a moment, while Christine babbled, admiring her engagement ring. Erik had proposed to her two months ago. It was so romantic. She was actually getting married! To an Opera Ghost! "Hey Christine" she asked "You are going to be my maid of honor at my wedding right?"

Christine gasped "Why? Did you change your mind? You don't want me to, do you? Just tell the truth! You don't wanna be friends anymore, do you! I think-"

"Christine!" Meg said in a sing songy voice "Isn't my ring shiny?" she asked

Christine instantly stopped talking and stared at the ring "Oooh, sparkly." she said happily. Meg tried not to laugh.

Twenty minutes later, Meg and Christine were in a boat, rowing into Erik's lair. Before they even got inside they could hear Erik and Raoul whooping and screaming, and some background noise that sounded like a football game. Meg said "Uh-oh" And after a small gasp of shock, Christine said- -well, about every name in the book( which I won't put in here, since this is only a T rated fic )with the words "Erik, Raoul, football" and "asshole" strung in between.

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Erik and Raoul were at Erik's place having a great time, completely unaware that Christine and Meg were coming in. They had both drank about four to seven cans of beer each, were completely drunk, and kept either 

A. Screaming cusswords at the TV. when their team messed up

B. Body slamming each other

C. Drinking more beer or

D. Complaining about their wives /fiancées

"So" Raoul asked after gulping down even more beer "When's the big day for you and Meg?"

Erik groaned "Don't even get me started on it. Meg's driving me crazy! I thought living with Christine for a day was hell. Now, I'm getting married to her best friend that's worse than her!"

Raoul looked confused (which isn't unusual, considering his brain's the size of a peanut) and then said (sounding extremely drunk)"Wait a minute, I thought you guys were in love, weren't ya? Or is that you and me?"

Erik pushed his chair about ten inches away from Raoul's and said "Good god, you really are a girlish fop! Christine was right!"

Raoul grinned proudly and said "Yup! Hey, was that an insult? Wait, lemme think"

"Don't hurt yourself " Erik muttered

After a few minutes of silence, Erik drank more beer and said "Well, ya know, Meg is pretty damn hot. And her boobs are triple the size of Christine's."

Raoul looked at him, still grinning, and said "Yeah, she is _hot_!"

Erik shoved him "Hey, she's mine! You already got that adorable, pretty nutcase, Christine!"

"Yup. But wait, why are you marrying Meg again?"

Erik groaned "I already told you! I'm sick of living in tortuous solitude and isolation from the rest of civilization down here-"

"Hey, you got cable TV. and a neat swishy cape" Raoul broke in

"Yes I do, but I wanted a wife, and you already had dibs on Christine. So, Meg's a nice, little ballerina, looks like an angel, she's Christine's best friend, and the best that I'm going to get, so I proposed, but it's times like this when I wonder if I was sane when I did that"

Erik didn't tell Raoul the _real_ reason he proposed was when Mme. Giry caught him sneaking around Meg's dressing room, pulled out the good ol' Punjab lasso on him, told him that Meg was already getting to be an old maid, and Mme. Giry was sick of having her hang around her all damn day, and threatened that if he didn't propose to Meg or find someone who would, she'd tell everyone that Erik liked to crochet. When Erik tried to protest by telling her he only did that trying how to learn how to make clothes for himself, she tightened the lasso and reminded him how long it took him to get his reputation back after what Raoul did when they made that bet. Erik shuddered remembering and when Mme. Giry repeated the demand, tightening the lasso, Erik broke down, promising he would propose. Meg recalled Erik's proposal as the most romantic thing ever. Erik recalled it as Mme. Giry watching them from behind Meg, and holding up 3 by 5 index cards, telling Erik what to say exactly.

It was at that moment when Erik and Raoul's favorite team scored a touchdown and Erik and Raoul body slammed against each other screaming "TOUCHDOWN!" and some other ridiculous macho guy stuff like "Whoo yeah! who's your daddy now! Uh-uh, uh-uh!" Christine and Meg were just coming in when that happened. Unfortunately, this was a Dallas Cowboy game, and at halftime, the cheerleaders came out. Here's what happened: Raoul and Erik were starring and drooling at the TV. like brain dead zombies, Christine and Meg came in, just when Raoul said "Damn, that girl is SO stinkin' hot!" and Erik said "God, her jugs beat Meg's by a MILE!" and all hell broke lose.

Christine stormed out of the boat, with Meg close behind, and came straight up to Raoul. Erik noticed the girls were there first, and tried to alert Raoul. "Raoul! Look to your left!"

Raoul (in his infinite wisdom) got his directions mixed up and looked to the right, where the TV. set was, and stated "God, why can't my wife look like that?"

Erik tried again "Raoul, LOOK TO YOUR **LEFT!**

But Raoul failed to do that, and once again wisely said "Damn, that cheerleader's ass is so hot! Why can't my wife have a butt like that?"

"AHHEMMM!" Christine practically screamed

Raoul turned around, a expression of shock and fear on his face "Hi hon. What brings you here?" he asked weekly

Christine threw an absolute fit "Bowling! THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF BOWLING? I was worried sick about you, and you're down here, watching this violent, idiotic sports game that you know I forbid you to see. AND comparing my ass to a cheerleader's ass!How damn stupid are you! I've been looking for you EVERYWHERE!" she screamed

Then she gasped as the realization hit her "You guys never did go bowling did you? You did THIS the whole time! You LIED to me! You don't like me, do you? Nobody likes me! You like your precious football better than your wife!" Christine sobbed, sitting down. Erik tried to use this opportunity to sneak off to his room, but Meg gave him a glare and said "Don't even think about it, asshole"

Erik sat back down

Raoul tried to apologize "Snookums, I-"

Christine slapped him straight across the face, much to Erik's amusement, until Christine slapped him too and then Meg did.

So, Erik tried apologizing "Girls, look, we were just-"

Meg glared at him "I'll deal with you later, and just wait until I get you all alone"

Erik gulped

Meg looked at Christine "Christine, calm down. We already know all men are macho idiots"

"HEY!" the macho idiots interrupted "We are not!"

"Well, okay, one of you is the macho idiot, and the other's a girlish fop"

"Which one's which?" Raoul asked, very confused

Meg looked at him stupidly "You just answered your own question, Einstein"

Christine sighed "You're right Meg. But, they lied to us, and what's worse, they acted more stupid than they ever did before"

"I disagree" Meg said

Christine looked surprised "You do? How much more stupid can you get than comparing your wives/fiancées to Dallas cowboy cheerleaders when they're in the room?"

"Last year, when they made that stupid bet and switched places, remember? _That_ was pure stupidity"

"Oh yeah. You and me would never make a bet as stupid as that Meg"

Erik and Raoul could see where this was headed, and they grinned at each other

"Yeah, because we both know who'd win" Meg challenged

Christine looked confused "What do 'ya mean?"

Meg sighed "Come on Christine. You know you'd never last two minutes in my shoes"

Christine stood up "Oh yeah? Well you wouldn't last a minute in my shoes because they're a size six and you wear an eight"

Meg scoffed "Christine, that's just an expression. You don't really have to wear my shoes. Just last in my lifestyle"

Christine gasped "You're not serious! We were just talking about how dumb the guys were for making a bet like that, and now you wanna make one too!"

Meg stood up "Yeah, but the guys were so stupid they didn't even get a winner"

Normally, the stupid guys would have said something in their defense, but they could see that something was starting, so they remained silent.

"True" Christine said

Meg stared her straight in the eye "Come on, Chrissie, let's bet on it."

Christine looked unsure "I don't know. Why should we? Our lifestyles aren't that bad." she pointed out

Meg thought for a moment and then said "Yeah, but you're filthy stinkin' rich, had two guys madly in love with you, were the Prima Donna, and your nightgown is prettier than my ball gown."

Christine grinned "Yeah, my life is pretty sweet. But, then again, I'm a complete ditz, I'm married to a fop, I can't handle anything on my own without crying or running off to Erik or Raoul. You think my life's easy?" she asked

Meg scoffed "You're damn right it's easy! I'm like, over 20 something, barely got ten minutes on screen in the movie, hardly any lines, I still live with my mother, have no self esteem whatsoever, and don't even walk normally because I'm always wearing these stupid ballet shoes!"

Christine laughed "Yeah, your life's _so_ hard Meg. I could totally last in your lifestyle easy."

Meg glared at her "Prove it"

Christine looked at the ground "I don't wanna"

"Chicken"

Christine's head snapped up "What'd you call me?"

"You heard me chicken" Meg replied

Christine shouted "Brat!"

"Ditz!"

" Baby!"

"Idiot!"

"Blonde!"

"Brunette!"

By now, Raoul and Erik had nearly wet their pants, and were going to burst from not laughing.

Christine stared at Meg hard "Okay Miss Smarty Pants, let's bet on it. I'll stay with Madame Giry and act like a ballet brat for twenty four hours. But, you have to stay with Raoul and act like me for a day. We'll just see who wins."

Christine and Meg shook hands on it. "Deal" Meg agreed.

Christine went to change into a frilly looking ballet tutu and tights, and Meg dragged Raoul with her out of Erik's basement while he shouted "Hey Erik, you mind if I have some fun with Meg? Cause she is _hot_!"

Well, needless to say, Meg slapped Raoul and Erik punjabbed him. Five minutes later, Meg and Raoul were on their way to Raoul's house, (with Meg muttering something about how stupid Christine was), and Raoul screaming for mercy since Meg was dragging him out of the lair by his ear. Erik, thinking that Meg and Christine couldn't hear him said "Yes! The two adorable psychos are gone and I _finally_ get a break from living in hell!"

Unfortunately, the adorable psychos (Meg and Christine)both heard him and slapped him senseless til' he was screaming something that went like "Ahhh! No, I was only kidding! I love both of you adorable psychos! No, wait, that didn't come out right! Ahh, please, stop it! Oooh, the pain!"

Another five minutes later, Meg and Raoul had really left, Christine had started to sneak upstairs using the secret tunnels, got lost and started screaming for Erik to help her (which he did, after making her say "Erik is the hottest man alive, Raoul is a stupid fop" ten times, which made her slap him again when he found her), and after about ten minutes, Christine made it upstairs to the ballet dormitories, Erik went back to watching football and drinking, and this is the beginning of a(stupid) girl's day out.

I have a feeling that this is also the beginning of a very stupid story.

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Please review! Let me know what you think! 


	2. Meg's Day in Hell with a Fop

**A Girl's Day Out**

Chapter 2: Meg's Horrible Day with the Ultimate Idiot (A.K.A. Raoul)

Author's Note: Hello everybody! Glad you all liked the first chapter. Hope this one is funnier and/or stupider than the last. This story has been totally fun to write so far, even if it does take me awhile to update (Sorry about that :)Anyway, if anyone has any ideas about what they'd like to see in Christine's day as a ballet brat or who you think should win, please review and let me know. I really like reviews.

P.S. Please excuse all the typos that are probably in this chap. :)

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Disclaimer: I OWN THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! ( -Taking deep breaths as my sanity returns-)Okay, not really.

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Meg dragged Raoul out of the lair, across the lake and into Raoul's really expensive model T-ford. 

"Owww, Meg, you're hurting me!" Raoul yelled, giving her a puppy dog look

"Don't really care" Meg said

"But you're supposed too! You got to be my wife for a day, and that means you have to love me and cuddle me and cook for me and wash my clothes and feed me "

"There ain't no freakin' way that's about to happen!" Meg said as she opened the door.

"And you have to kiss me "

"Excuse me while I go puke" Meg said, jumping out of the car.

Well, Meg eventually came back to the car, wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve, jumped into the driver's seat, and sped off.

Ten minutes later, the two arrived at Raoul's really big mansion.

"Wow" Meg gasped as they stepped inside

Raoul grinned "Yeah. It's so big and shinny. And you know the best part about it?"

"What's that?" she asked

"THERE'S MIRRORS!" Raoul screamed as he ran into the hallway, throwing himself against a row of mirrors on the wall, kissing them and checking his reflection. He hugged them and muttered "Yes, my nice little mirror, I'm home now. Did ya miss me? Of course you did. I missed you a whole lot. That meanie Erik doesn't keep any mirrors in his lair. I know, how stupid is that? Oooh, don't I look so pretty? Of course I do. I love you mirror." Raoul muttered

Meg just stood there, a little freaked out by this. "Do you always do this?" she asked Raoul

"Mmmhmm" he muttered

"Ooookaay, anyway, why don't we go do some...married people stuff?" Meg suggested

"Mmmmhmm" Raoul muttered while stroking the mirror.

"Are you even listening to me?" Meg asked

"Mmmmhmmm"

" You are a fop"

"I am a fop" Raoul repeated dreamily

"I am a dim witted moron"

"I am a dim witted moron" Raoul repeated in a trancelike state

Meg was going to lose it "Okay, pretty boy, time to let go of the mirrors." Meg said

She came up behind Raoul and began pulling him off the mirror. Raoul held on for dear life while screaming "NOOOO! I LOVE MY MIRROR! Don't take me away from it! No, I love you mirror! I won't leave! You can't make me! NOOOO!"

Well, finally, Meg pulled Raoul off the mirror, but it caused him to fall on top of her with a _THUD_.

"Oww! Oh my god, what the hell do you weigh!" Meg asked breathlessly "Get off me!" she said while pushing him off of her.

Raoul sat up and looked at Meg "Whoops. You O.K.?" he asked

"Yeah, I feel great after being thrown onto the floor with you on top of me!"

"Oh, glad you're o.k. I'm fine cause I landed on your nice, soft, mounds of fat"

Meg stood up, glaring at Raoul dangerously "What did you just say?"

"Are you deaf or something? I said 'Oh, glad you're o.k. I'm fine cause I landed on your nice, soft, mounds of- oh shit" Raoul said "Uhh, Meg, that didn't come out right. You really aren't as fat as you look" Raoul said

" I'll give you a three second head start. One, two, THREE!" Meg screamed, charging at Raoul who was too stupid too know he should have been running until Meg charged at him.

Well, basically Meg chased Raoul around every square inch of the mansion, while Raoul screamed like a girl the whole time. Meg finally caught up to him in the bedroom, and tackled him onto the bed, beating him senseless. When they were both too exhausted to move, Raoul broke the ice by panting "Hey, that was a pretty good tackle. You ever play football?" he asked

Meg stood up and dusted herself off while saying "No, but I watch tons of games"

Raoul bolted straight up "You watch football?"

"Yeah, who doesn't?" she asked while rubbing her feet, which were killing her considering she just chased Raoul around the entire house in stupid ballet shoes

"Well, I don't. I mean, I love to, but Christine won't let me."

Meg looked at Raoul "Ya know Raoul, you really need to stand up to Christine. Sure, she's my best friend and all, but she's way to strict. You're an adult"

"Yeah, I am"

"You should make your own decisions"

"Yeah!"

"You have a mind of your own. Wait, you barely have a mind at all. Scratch that. You're grown up."

"YEAH!"

"And you're a manly-wait, Erik's a manly hunk, you're just a wimpy girl"

"YEAH! I mean, wait a minute, was that an insult?"

"Nooo" Meg said sarcastically

"Oh. Well, it sure sounded like one"

Meg sighed "Come on, lets go watch some TV. We're missing the end of the football game."

Raoul pouted "Doesn't matter. Christine blocked out ESPN with the parental controls andthe only place I can watch football is at Erik's,and I have a feeling Christine won't let me do that anymore either"

Meg grabbed Raoul's hand and jerked him up "You need to learn how to assert yourself, especially around Christine. Come on, let's go practice." she said

Raoul purred "Ya know, I like an aggressive, strong woman. Why don't we go have some fun, if you know what I mean?"

Meg turned around and slapped him "Don't even think about it sicko. First of all, you're married. Second, I'm engaged. And third, ugghhh, that is just SICK AND WRONG! _Capuche_?"

"Right. Wait, what's _capuche_ mean? Is that some kinda fruit?"

"Yes"

"Wow, really? Is it like mango?"

Meg had a feeling that this was going to be a long day, and she wondered if one hundred francs would be worth her troubles. _Wait a minute_ she thought,_ Christine and I never agreed on what the payment was. I could be spending a day in hell trying to win God knows what. I'd better call her._

Meg plopped Raoul down on the nearest available chair. There was a mirror there, so Raoul could keep himself occupied. Meg whipped out her cell phone and speed dialed Christine's number. When Christine finally picked up, Meg heard lots of static, echoes, and Erik's voice

"Hello!" Christine huffed

"Hey Chrissie, it's Meg. I was wondering something."

"Uh, Meg, can this wait? I'm still stuck in a secret passageway, and Erik found me and he's been trying to kiss me and seduce me for about an hour now, and it's getting really old. Erik, stop it!"

"WHAT?"

Meg heard Erik's voice in the background saying "Christine! You weren't supposed to**_ tell _**Meg what I'm doing!"

Meg scoffed "Christine! How could you? That's my fiancé!"

"Oh, whoops. I mean, uh, me and Erik were just playing Twister in the secret passageway and we got all twisted together and _then_ he tried to kiss me." Christine said brightly, thinking she was helping things until she realized what she said "Oh shit"

"Christine, put Erik on, would ya?"

Unknown to Meg, Christine threw her phone at Erik, mouthed "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya" and took off flying down the passage way before Erik had a chance to go after her. He, unfortunately, had to experience Meg's fit

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I'm stuck here with Foppy Mc Fopperson, going through hell and you're trying to seduce a woman THAT YOU AREN'T EVEN ENGAGED TO!" she screamed over the phone.

Erik tried to save his skin "Meg, sweetie pie, we were just playing around. I didn't really wanna kiss her. SHE MADE ME DO IT!"

"Yeah right. She was wearing something sexy, wasn't she?"

"Yes" Erik admitted guiltily "But, Meg, you know I don't like, love her or anything. I love you more than words can describe."

"Uhhm. So why is that life size mannequin of her still down in your lair?"

"Uhh, I tried to take it down, but it reminded me of the good ol' days" Erik tried feebly

"Okay. More importantly, Why haven't you made one of me yet?" Meg asked

"Umm, you're so ravishing, a mannequin can't be molded into perfection worthy of your beauty? Yeah, that's it."

"Nice try. You're dead meat when I get back to the Opera House." Meg said

Erik groaned. "So, why did you have to call me now?" he asked through clenched teeth

"Oh right, I needed to ask Christine something."

"Okay, I'll use her call waiting and get her for you snookums"

"Call me that again and I'll strangle you with your own freakin' lasso"

"You sound more and more like your mother every day" Erik said

Well, even being the genius he is, it took Erik a few minutes to activate call waiting and(thinking he was talking to Christine) said "O.K. pooky, Meg wants to tell you something. But make it quick, cause I got lots more fun stuff to do"

"ERIK, YOU IDIOT, THIS **IS **MEG!" Meg screamed

"Oh shit" Erik said

"Erik, just get me Christine"

"Righto"

A few minutes later, Meg heard Christine's ditzy voice on the phone. Unknown to both of the girls was the fact that Erik was still listening.

"Hey Meg. What's up?"

"Chrissie, you know when we made that bet?"

"Yeah. What's the matter, you ready to quit already?"

"No way! I was just wondering, ya know when the guys made this bet, the loser had to pay the winner one hundred francs?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So, we never agreed on what the loser has to pay the winner. You wanna just stick with one hundred francs?"

"Nah, Raoul's already loaded, and I don't need any more dough. Were you thinking of anything else?"

"Nope"

The girls were both silent for a few minutes until Erik (stupidly) butted in "Hey I know! The winner has to wear a skimpy nightgown for the rest of the day, and the loser has to wear one of those Playboy bunny costumes! And then both of you could come down to my lair!"

"ERIK, GET OFF THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!" both girls screamed.

Erik hurriedly hung up and ran back to his lair.

"Hey! I got an idea!" Christine said

"Wow. Let me write this down for future generations" Meg said

"Hey! That wasn't funny! Anyway, why don't we make this really interesting. The loser has to do whatever the winner says for a month"

"Wow, that's pretty good" Meg never in her life thought her ditzy best friend could ever come up with a suggestion, let alone a suggestion that made sense. "All right, let's agree. Loser does whatever the winner demands for a month. Deal?"

"Deal" Christine agreed "Okay Meg, I gotta go, otherwise I'll never be able to find my way out of this passage. I can't talk and look for an exit sign at the same time. Bye!"

"Bye!" Meg said

After Meg had hung up, she noticed Raoul wasn't drooling in front of the mirror. "That's weird. Wonder where he went off to."

Five seconds later, Raoul ran out of his bedroom screaming "HONEY! HELP ME!"

Meg groaned "What is it now?"

Raoul threw himself at her "Meg! Meg! Help me! I'm having a lip gloss crisis!" he screamed

Meg groaned "That's all. God, get off me. It's just lip gloss."

"Oh no you don't. Christine always helps me with this sort of stuff."

Meg reluctantly followed Raoul into his bedroom, which was filled with a huge vanity table, mirrors, a color coordinated wardrobe, and the walls were brimming with shelves full of makeup in every sort imaginable.

Meg was speechless. Raoul stood in front of the vanity while he explained his dilemma. "O.K., the Mocha Moca Frost matches my skin tone perfectly. But, the Happy Hazelnut matches my eyes, while the Mango Mania brings out my hair highlights. And then again, there's the Strawberry Shimmer, which makes me feel pretty, and then there's my favorite, Warm Vanilla Sugar."

Meg stared at him open mouthed "Why is a guy wearing lip gloss? That's just freaky"

Raoul scoffed and (sounding extremely gay) said "Lip gloss is more than just make up. It soothes your chapped lips, brings out your lip's natural color and beauty, and they make me feel pretty. Plus, each lip gloss is unique, bringing its own special taste and color to my lips. I don't want to make any lip gloss feel left out, and it's so hard to pick just one. so, Christine always picks one for me, and since you're Christine, you have to do that today."

"God help me" Meg muttered. She randomly picked one from the selection and shoved it at Raoul "Here, use the 'Strawberry Shimmer"

"Why did you choose that one?"

"I don't know. It's, uh, strawberry. And pink."

"Okay" Raoul shrugged. Two seconds later, Raoul ran into yet another makeup crisis.

"Oh My God! The Strawberry Shimmer is all gone! I used it all up! NOOOOO! How could I!"

Meg sat down, and began filing her nails, watching Raoul roll around on the floor like an idiot, clutching his beloved tube of lip gloss.

"Oh god, it's all out. I don't know how I could have used it all! It was like a son to me! Oh why? Why?"

"Hey" Meg interrupted, throwing him a tube of peach something-or-other lip gloss out of her purse "Suck it up and use this"

"Ooh, pretty" Raoul said, instantly forgetting his minor crisis. He immediately ran to the mirror and applied it. About an hour later, Raoul was ready to go after moisturizing, concealing, combing and blow drying his face and hair to perfection.

"Okay, you're beautiful. Now, can I finally show you how to stand up to Christine?" Meg asked

"Sure" Raoul said

"Thank you"

They both trudged downstairs, where Meg led Raoul to the living room. She picked up a framed photo of Christine off the mantel.

"Now, say you wanna watch some football. Pretend this picture is Christine"

Raoul stared in horror "Oh my god, you turned my wife into a photograph! How could you? She was so young! Christine, honey, come back!"

Meg sighed "Raoul, I said PRETEND!"

"Oh. You mean, Christine really hasn't been turned into a picture?"

"No"

"Oh, so how did she get _in_ the picture?" Raoul asked stupidly.

"Never mind the picture" Meg said replacing it on the mantel. "Pretend that _I'm_ Christine"

"But you're Meg"

"I know that."

"So, how are you Christine?"

Meg smacked herself on the forehead. "Pretend that I am Christine"

"Okay. So when did you turn into Christine? What happened to Meg? She was just here a minute ago."

"I AM MEG!"

"But you just said you're Christine. You can't be Christine and Meg! You're confusing me! Who are you?"

Meg sank down into a chair, rubbing her head "I'm not anybody. I don't have an identity. Happy now?"

"No. You never told me who you are!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH."

After a minute, Meg regained her control and tried again "Okay Raoul, let's try this again. Say Christine just walked in the room."

"But she didn't."

"Pretend. Imagine she's here Raoul"

"Is she really here? Did she turn invisible? Is she playing hide and seek again? Chrissie, come out, come out wherever you are!" Raoul said walking around the room, looking behind furniture

"Raoul, Christine isn't here, she's not hiding anywhere! She's NOT HERE!"

"Oh my gosh! Is she a ghost? Ghosts are scary! I don't like ghosts! Christine, don't come back and scare me! I can't take it!" Raoul sobbed

Well, after about an hour, Meg somehow miraculously convinced the dim witted Raoul that Christine wasn't there, and that they were imaging she was there, she tried to show him how to assert himself to others.

"All right Raoul. Now you wanna watch football. It's the biggest, superest, most exciting game of the year, and you can't miss it! Now, what do you do?"

"Sneak over to Erik's and watch it!"

"No! You watch it here! Now, how do you do that?"

"Ask Christine!"

"Good boy!" Meg exclaimed, throwing Raoul a dog biscuit (which Raoul mistook for oddly shaped cookies)

" Now, what do we say ?" Meg coaxed

"Christine, can I watch the really cool football game tonight?"

"NO! You know how violent those games are Raoul!" Meg shouted "Now, what do you do?"

"Cry."

"No! Wrong answer!"

"Uh, well, I don't wanna disobey her. It makes her upset. And mad. She gets ugly when she's mad."

"I don't care. Assert yourself!"

Raoul puffed out his chest and said "Christine, I wanna watch the football game tonight, and you can't stop me! So there! Ha!"

"Very good. Here, have another dog bis- I mean have another cookie" Meg said sweetly, throwing it up in the air

Raoul caught it (in his mouth, I might add) and ate it up.

After Raoul's disastrous lesson was finished, it was time for dinner. Since Meg had no idea how to cook, she pooped in a microwave dinner. Which she burned. So she tried some minute rice. Which she burned. Then she tried some toast (burnt to a crisp), a Hot Pocket (burnt and set off the smoke alarm), some union rings (burned) and some microwave popcorn (which she burned, threw out, and Raoul dug out of the garbage, and licked it, since he was starving)

After about an hour, Meg was screaming from frustration and desperately searching for some food. Raoul was lying on the ground, clutching a bowl in front of him, and moaning "Food. Need...food!"

Eventually, Raoul dragged himself to the supply cabinet, got some poster board and markers, and began to write out " WILL WORK FOR FOOD" But, that proved to be quite a problem, since the fop couldn't spell "food".

Finally, when Meg was screaming "Must... destroy...evil...microwave" over and over again, Raoul suggested takeout.

After strangling Raoul for not suggesting that an hour ago, Meg called and ordered Chinese. When it was finally delivered, Meg and Raoul stampeded over the poor delivery boy to get to the food, and then ripped it apart and devoured it like a pack of wolves.

After Meg and Raoul had eaten, Meg demanded a few simple things from the idiot, including: chocolate, a massage, a throne of pillows, the TV. set moved, a stack of romance novels, the list was endless. Whenever Raoul complained, Meg simply glared at him and threatened to take away his mirrors and/or his lip gloss, which caused Raoul to whimper and obey her every command. That made Raoul seem and feel quite like a slave, if Raoul was smart enough to even know what a slave was.

Eventually, Raoul asked "Hey Meg, can I go over to Erik's place?"

"Sure Raoul. After you fluff my pillows again."

"Okay"

"And after you change the channel.."

"Okay"

"And after you bring me some chocolate"

"All right"

Well, as you can guess, by the time Meg was done with her demands, it was way too late for a visit to Erik's, so Meg said Raoul could go tomorrow.

It was now time for bed. Meg basically brushed her hair, changed into some comfortable pajamas, brushed her teeth and was ready. Raoul, on the other hand, had a far more complex routine.

"Okay Raul, time for bed" Meg said

"Not yet"

"What do you mean? What else do you have to do?"

"I need to drink some warm milk, say good night to my teddy bear, moisturize my face, write in my diary, you have to read me _Goodnight Moon_ and rub my tummy and sing me lullabies 'til I fall asleep."

"Just get into bed you moron."

"Not yet" Raoul sang annoyingly

"Whatever, Raoul. I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning."

Well, Raoul pouted. And pouted. And pouted, until finally he realized that Meg really was asleep. Then he threw himself on the floor, screaming and crying and once again, curled up into the fetal position. Meg woke up, stormed out of bed, and forced Raoul up off the floor.

"All right, I'm up! What do you want?" she wined

Well, after she had already spent a day in hell, Meg thought things couldn't get any worse.

She was wrong.

First, Raoul asked for some warm milk. When Meg poured him some milk and heated it up, it was too cold. So, she turned the heat up, which caused Raoul to burn his tongue, which made Raoul run around the house screaming "AHHH! The heat! Owwww, so hot! Too hot! Too hot! Somebody help me! I need water! I NEED WATER!"

So, Meg threw a glass of water on him, and he was happy. Finally, they settled on the right temperature, and moved on. Raoul said good night to his teddy bear about ten trillion times before heading off to the bathroom to moisturize.

An hour later, Meg had fallen back asleep when Raoul came in to write in his diary. He pestered Meg every two seconds, since he had no idea how to spell any other words than his name, "Moisturizer, moisturize, pretty, lip gloss, make up," or " mirror"

After that was over, Meg had to read Raoul _Goodnight Moon _while rubbing his tummy. Over. And over. And over. And over, until she finally threatened kill Raoul if he didn't go to sleep. When that didn't work, she told him she would break every mirror he owned if he didn't fall asleep.

Needless to say, Raoul went to sleep, cowering in fear at the thought of any harm coming to his mirrors.

Well, all throughout the night, Raoul kept waking up, screaming from nightmares about flying monkeys, the Boogeyman, broken mirrors, and getting a pimple. Eventually, Meg just gave up on trying to get to sleep and locked herself in the bathroom until morning, keeping herself awake by singing the _Gilligan's Island _theme song and listening to Raoul scream.

When it was finally morning, Meg and Raoul both trudged downstairs to eat breakfast. Meg threw an outfit to wear at Raoul, and he got dressed after changing his mind about what to wear seven times. When Raoul asked if he could go to Erik's place, Meg shoved him out the door while she screamed yes. She then bolted the door shut, dropped to her knees and screamed "THANK YOU GOD! I'm free! No more fop! Free at last! YESSS!"

Meg then plopped herself down onto a sofa, and watched a sitcom, while Raoul, on the other hand, was about to get him and Erik into more trouble with their wives then either of them could possibly imagine...

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Please (for my sanity!) REVIEW! And, I promise,the next chapter is going tobe even funnier then this one was! 


	3. Just Plain Idiots

_**A Girl's Day Out**_

**Chapter 3: Just Plain Idiots**

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Author's Note: Hello everybody! This chapter will probably be very short (sorry), but funny. Once again, sorry I can't update as fast as I used to, but I managed to get a short chapter updateda fewdays after my last one, so that's great for my standards.I wrote most of the chap at school during newspaper and lunchtime. I am also extremley hyper right now, so I hope this chap will be hillarious! 

I would really appreciate it if more people would review! Reviews are very encourging, and I like reading what you guys think about this story. If anyone's got any suggestions about some future funny stunts for Christine's day, or who they think should win, don't hesitate to send me a review or an email. I'm more that happy to take suggestions from my readers, and a lot of the time I do use them in my stories.

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Disclaimer: Seeing as the book was written almost a hundred years before I was born, there is almost no possible way I could own the rights to POTO (Wow, that sounded really smart :)

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Raoul burst into Erik's place at a very...inconvenient time. Erik just happened to be watching QVC and was hassling with an operator over the phone. This is basically the jist of what Raoul heard after he burst in:

"Hello? Yeah, I'd like to order item number 34964542, the Complete Crochet Package. Yeah, rush delivery. No, I don't have a credit card. Why not? I'm a disfigured musical genius that lives five stories underground! What the hell would I need a credit card for? No, I don't make out checks either! Whaydaya mean "Those are the only two forms of accepted payment"! Fine then, I'll just buy a crocheting kit elsewhere. I'll have you know I have a very good reason as to why I crochet. Stop laughing! I said STOP IT! I crochet my own clothes! No, I can't just walk into a store and buy my own suits, I get attacked by angry mobs, little children, major Phangirls begging me to marry them, or any combination of the above! That's it, I've had it with you people! STOP LAUGHING!" Erik screamed into the phone before he angrily hung up "That's the last time I ever order those damn "Only seen on TV. products" he muttered angrily to himself

Erik slowly turned around as he heard Raoul laughing "How much of that did you hear?" he asked Raoul dangerously low

Raoul was laughing so hard, he could barely get enough breath to answer "Trust me dude, waaaaay more than I needed to know!"

In a flash, Erik had Raoul up off the floor, and had him pinned against the wall, pulling out the Punjab lasso. Raoul, who had been burst in on Erik at a lot of inconvenient times and almost gotten punjabbed as a result of it, he now knew Erik's whole "threaten the intruder who burst in at an inconvenient time" speech by heart, which he recited boridly as he blew his bangs off his forehead.

"Listen you, if you ever tell anyone I was -**insert stupid, girly, wimpy, pointless, or otherwise un-Phantomlike like thing to do here**-, then I swear, I will hunt you down and Punjab/kill you and then I'll haunt you forever in the afterlife. You will forget that you ever saw me doing-**insert stupid, girly, wimpy, pointless or otherwise un-Phantomlike like thing to do here**- understand?' Yeah, yeah, Erik, I know the deal. Can you let go of me now?"

Erik released him and sat back down "So, what's wrong this time?" Erik asked while channel surfing.

"Well, I'm afraid of Meg, and I reaaallly don't wanna be at my house right now. I need to be around someone other than a crazy, deranged, woman psycho!"

"Hey, that's my future wife you just called a crazy, deranged, woman psycho. Wait, do you even know what any of those words mean?"

"Nope."

Erik was a bit puzzled by this, but he momentarily forgot that fact. He continued channel surfing "Hey Raoul, I'm starving. You bring any food with you?"

"Nope. Meg burned everything we had in the house. She can't cook."

" What else is new? I practically puked my guts out when she forced some of her so-called home cooked dinners down my throat. All she knows how to do is yell and boss me around, dance, sing, cry for her mother or scream "He's There, The Phantom of the Opera" in a high, shrill voice every time I come in the room, which gets really annoying after a while. She has no clue how to cook. We're going to be living on takeout the rest of our lives."

"I like takeout. The bags they come in are pretty." Raoul chirped

Erik smacked himself on the forehead. Why oh why were the only people he knew a wimpy fop, an emotional ditz, a bossy ballerina that couldn't cook, and an old lady that strangled him every time she got the chance?

" I don't wanna go back home. Meg's gonna be there 'till 2:00." Raoul whined

Erik stood up and walked over to open the refrigerator "Well, Meg will eventually come back here and torture me."

"Dude, you don't know how easy you've got it. Meg is like an angel compared to Christine."

Erik pulled out some chips, nachos, and two beers, and tossed one to Raoul " There is no way Meg is easier to be around then Christine. Christine may be a totally emotional ditz, but at least she's sane."

"Oh yeah? Meg is ten times better than Christine, even if she screams at me and hurts my feelings."

"Christine is soooooo much easier to deal with then Meg. I mean, Christine is so stupid and wimpy. She's just like you" Erik smirked

Raoul grinned "Yup"

"Okay, anyways, at least neither of our wives/fiancées are here now. So, we could just do guy stuff. Whatcha wanna do?" Erik asked while stuffing his face full of nachos.

"We could have a Disney sing a long" Raoul suggested

Erik stared at him " I meant something that won't make me puke, you idiot."

"Oh. Well, how about a game of Twister?"

Erik cringed, remembering his little experience playing that with Christine in the tunnel and Meg on the cell phone "Nah. Hey, wanna watch some TV?"

"Sure"

So, Erik started channel surfing again. First, he stumbled upon _Titanic_, which made him and Raoul both sink to the floor while Raoul screamed" NO! THE HORROR!"

Erik was rolling around on the floor in pain. He frantically grabbed the remote while muttering "Must... change...channel! Can't...stand...gushy...stupid...love...scenes!"

When they finally got the channel changed, Raoul started surfing and came upon _Gilligan's Island_, which made Erik beat his head against the wall, in an effort to keep himself sane while the annoying theme song played. When that was over, Erik beat Raoul senseless and flipped the channel to the following:

Gone with the Wind (Erik screamed in pain, Raoul got into the fetal position)

The Price is Right ( Erik tried to guess the price, got mad when he was wrong and beat the TV set, while Raoul remained in the fetal position)

Sponge Bob SquarePants (Both of the guys sang along to the theme song, then flipped the channel cause they were bored) and finally:

A Soap Opera, which made Raoul cover his eyes (still in the fetal position), rock back and forth and frantically mutter "Bad TV, evil TV. Must not watch evil TV. TV is bad. I don't like TV. TV is not my friend! EVIL!"

Erik muttered every curse word in the book and beat the stupid TV until he got bored. Then he dragged Raoul up off the floor and into the kitchen. Then both guys basically played with some silverware, and had some deep, intelligent conversations:

"Hey Erik, who do you think has bigger boobs: Meg or Dolly Parton?"

"I dunna know, they're about the same. Meg's probably bigger though.

"Okay."

"So, what do ya wanna talk about?"

"I dunna know."

" Politics?"

"Those big words make my brain hurt"

"Books?"

"Make my brain hurt"

"We could just get drunk"

"Okay, sounds good to me Erik"

So, the guys sat down, and started getting drunker with every passing minute. Finally, they brought their wives/fiancées back into the conversation

"So" Erik said after loudly belching " How much longer has Meg gotta tough it out with you?"

"About, uh, wait, I don't know how to tell time"

"Never mind. She'll be running back here any minute and this crap will end"

"Who says?" Raoul asked

"I do" said Erik

"Wait, do you mean you think Meg's gonna lose this bet?"

"No, I know Meg's gonna lose this bet. She'll never make it for five more hours if she has to deal with you."

"You mean, you don't think she can make it? All she's done is boss me around, tackled me and called me mean names and hurt my feelings! She's totally gonna win their bet"

" There ain't no way Meg can tough it out much longer, Raoul. She'll either

A) Beat you senseless when you do something stupid and quit

B) Won't be able to take the frustration you caused her and go even more insane than she is now

C) Run back here, crying for her mother or

D) Come back here, slap me for uh, having some fun with Christine while she was gone and quit."

"Wow, you really think so" Raoul asked while applying more lip gloss

"Totally. Christine is definitely gonna win this bet"

At that, Raoul dropped his lip gloss, fell to the floor, holding his stomach, and began laughing hysterically. Erik just kept on drinking until Raoul was able to speak again.

"You actually think Christine is gonna win this thing? That's so funny!" Raoul cried

Erik belched again and set the beer down "What's so funny about it?" he asked

Raoul sat back down again, still laughing "Dude, there is no way Christine's gonna win their bet. She hasn't actually worked at anything in her life! You think she'll make it for twelve hours as Assistant Ballet Mistress and twenty four hours as Madame Giry's daughter? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

"What's so stupid about it? Christine was already a ballerina when she was like six or something. She already knows what to do and it isn't that horrible being Madame Giry's daughter for a day. Meg's been doing it her whole life!"

"Yeah, but Christine is a total emotional wimp! You give her one criticism, and she sobs and whines and screams and everything! Ya know how tough Madame Giry is? Christine's probably already cried her ten rivers! And you actually think she'll be able to teach those little ballet brats for twelve hours without cracking? Give me a break."

"Wait a minute foppy, you're saying you don't think that your wife is going to win their bet?"

"Hell no! I know she ain't gonna win that bet. Meg totally will."

"No Christine will!"

"No, Meg will!"

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!

"No, you shut up!

"I don't wanna shut up! Quit being mean to me! I can't take it anymore!" Raoul sobbed. He got into the feetal position gain, rolled around, sobbed and screamed. Erik just sat there, flipping through a car magazine until Raoul finally got back up to the table, where Erik continued:

"Whatever. Raoul, let's just face it: You're wrong, I'm right, and Christine is gonna win the bet. Got it?"

"No, because I say Meg is gonna win!"

"All right dummy, why not put your money where your mouth is?"

"Because money doesn't taste very good. I tried eating it once and it tasted worse than Meg's cooking, I mean, it was like eating-"

"I mean" Erik interrupted "Why not bet on it?"

"Bet on it?" Raoul repeated stupidly "You mean, you wanna make a bet on who we think will win the bet the girls have already made?"

"Exactly. You think Meg will win, I think Christine will. We just bet on it, wait, and see who wins the girl's bet, and then the loser (that's you Raoul) pays up."

"But, don't you think the girls will get mad?"

"Hey, what they don't know won't hurt 'em" Erik said and winked

Raoul looked disgusted "Wait, are you flirting with me? That's just sick and wrong! I'm supposed to be the gay one!"

Erik sighed "Never mind that. Just keep your mouth shut and don't tell them we're betting on who will win their bet. Understand?"

Raoul nodded, keeping his mouth firmly closed.

"I didn't mean literally Raoul"

"Oh okay" Raoul sighed

"So, let's just bet fifty francs this time. I say Christine will win, and you say Meg will win. As soon as we find out who does win, the loser (Raoul) will pay the winner (me)."

"Wait, when are we gonna pay each other?"

"Ahh, we'll work that out later. So, you wanna bet?"

"You got it" Raoul said

"All right. We'll see who wins this afternoon. You better be going back home now Raoul. Meg's waiting" Erik said sinisterly.

Raoul whimpered as he stood up to leave "You just wait smarty! Somebody's gonna be fifty francs richer tonight!"

"Yeah, me!" Erik called.

As soon as Raoul was gone, Erik drank some more and then started to crochet again, laughing to himself as he wondered how Christine's day had been so far...

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**Geez, review already! You peoples are driving me nuts!**


	4. Crazy Christine

**_A Girl's Day Out _**

Chapter 4: Crazy Christine

Author's Note : Hey! Didn't have as much time as usual to update this week. I've been totally stressed because I have four tests to study for this week, two papers due, a research project, stuff to learn for chorus, practicing my voice and piano lessons, blah, blah,blah. But, enough about my stress and the other shit, I hope everyone enjoys this chap. I tried to make it as funny as possible, but I had to split it up into two parts, otherwise it would have been a gigantic, super chapter! So, PLEASE review! And please excuse all the typos and stuff in this chap:)

I REALLY like reviews! Did I mention how much I like reviews? They are so fun. I love reading them. Reviews are so nice. I like nice reviews. Did I mention how much I like reading them?

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Disclaimer: Only a crazy person would claim to own Phantom of the Opera. And I'm not crazy. Well, not very crazy. Only a little crazy. Kinda crazy. OK, I'M CRAZY! I OWN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! Hahahahaa!

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Christine eventually made her way from all the confusing secret passageways and tunnels up to the ballet dormitories. She let herself inside and plopped down onto Meg's bed, snuggling against the pillows while muttering "Nice Erik. Sexy Erik, Erik looks so good today. I love you Erik."

Christine opened her eyes to find about five ballet girls staring at her, slightly shocked. Christine stuttered and quickly said "I MEAN RAOUL! I love you, Raoul!"

The girls still stood there, staring at her. Christine was slightly disturbed, and started hugging the pillow for comfort. "What's everybody starring at me for? Is something on my face?"

--Silence--

Christine gasped "Oh my god! You think I'm ugly, don't you? You don't like me! I can't believe it! You all hate me! Why does everybody hate me like this! I'm so unloved!" Christine screamed, throwing herself onto the bed.

"What happened to Meg?" one of the bolder girls asked

Christine sighed "We made this bet on who could last the longest in each other's shoes. But, we're not really wearing each other's shoes, so it doesn't make any sense. Anyway, she's off with my husband, Raoul-"

"You mean, that gay guy that was here about a year ago that got tangled up in a cape, fell off the rafters, and acted like a total fop?" another one asked

"Yup, that's him." Christine said grinning proudly "Wait, how did you know about that?"

"I have my ways" the girl said very dangerously, with an evil glint in her eyes

Christine was slightly startled "Uh-huh. Anyway, whoever lives in the other person's lifestyles the longest wins the bet. And, the loser has to do whatever the inner says for a month. So, Meg is with Raoul today, acting like me, and I have to act like her today."

"Meaning you're doing...what?" one girl asked

Christine smiled "I have to...wait, what does Meg actually do? I mean, besides twirl around in a ballet tutu and tights (Which, by the way, really itch), cry for her mother, cry, and be mean to me?"

"She helps Mme. Giry teach ballet class, helps us with the class work, and uhh, that's it"

"She doesn't have much of a life" another girl added

"But, she does have a totally hot fiancée."

"Oh my god, I know! Isn't he adorable! Especially when he wears those really low, ruffly, white shirts!" another girl gushed

"OKAY!" Christine interrupted "We all know Erik's a total hunk and I married the semi-cute fop! Now, can we get back to uhh, whatever somebody was talking about?"

"What were we talking about?" another girl asked

Christine groaned "Ya know, it is so confusing keeping track of who's talking when all your names are girl, another girl, the girl. Don't you guys have names?"

"Nope. None of the ballerinas in the movie actually got names except for Meg and you." another girl chirped

Christine tried to think for a minute, but that required huge effort, which made her head hurt, so eventually she just said

"Okay, this girl can be Bridgett, this one Annette, this one Sophia, this one Marie, and this one Julie. Everybody happy now?"

"Yes" Bridgett, Annette, Sophia, Marie, and Julie responded simultaneously.

"Okay, great. Now, I'm going to go back to snuggling and think about how hot Erik is. I MEAN RAOUL! HOW HOT RAOUL IS!" Christine screamed.

The girls all left

Eventually, Madame Giry came in, and whacked her cane on the bed, missing Christine by about an inch

"Meg Giry! Get your lazy ass up off the bed! Ballet class started five minutes ago!"

Christine looked up "I'm not Meg! Why does everybody think I'm Meg? I'm not Meg! I have my own identity! Why can't you people realize that? I'm Christine! C-H-R-I- wait, I can't remember how you spell the rest of it."

Mme. Giry huffed impatiently "Where is Meg?"

"Well, we made this bet on who could last the longest in each other's shoes. But, we're not really wearing each other's shoes, so it doesn't make any sense. Anyway, she's-"

Mme. Giry covered her hand with her mouth "My god, you talk a lot! So, lemme guess: Meg's off with Raoul, acting as you, and you're here to take Meg's place?"

"Yeah. Hey, how did you know that?"

"I have my ways" Mme. Giry said dangerously

Christine gulped "Soooo, I just have to stay here and act like Meg until 2:00 today. But wait, I can't tell time! Oh my god, what if it's already 2:00! Oh no, what if I'm in one of those space-time continuum thingies where time doesn't exist! Then maybe I really _am _Meg! When did I lose my identity! I don't like being Meg!" she sobbed hysterically

While Christine was going psycho, Madame Giry sighed and raised her eyes to the ceiling "Dear God, why do they always have to make these bets? And why do I always get stuck helping the idiots?" she sighed

Mme. Giry reached down, pulling Christine off the bed "Okay crybaby listen up ":Since you're the only idiot around today, you'll have to help me with the ballet class, and we're already five minutes late. So, come on" She started pulling Christine towards the door by her wrist

Christine stopped "Wait, how am I supposed to know anything about ballet? I'm a ditzy, naive, Prima Donna that was taught by a guy pretending to be my dead father, or the Angel of Music ( I never could figure out which), who fell in love with a fop and began a musical love triangle filled with suspense, splendor, and the Music of the Night. What the hell do I know about ballet? And how did I just know any of those really big, smart words?"

Mme. Giry groaned "Don't know, don't care. Hey, weren't you like a ballerina for ten minutes at the beginning of the movie?"

"Yeah"

''And, you came 'to live and train in the ballet dormitories' for like, nine years, so you must know something about ballet."

"I guess so" Christine whimpered

"Well then, you must know something about ballet, and you're the first person I found, so that's good enough. Now, on to class!" Madame Giry declared, with Christine dragging along behind her

And now, we proceed to

Christine's Day in Hell as Meg

or

Christine Causes Chaos at the Ballet

(whichever title you prefer for the next chap:)

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**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. Christine Causes Chaos

A Girl's Day Out

Chapter 5 : Christine Causes Chaos

Author's Note: Hey! Sorry for how long it took me to update. Still as busy as ever. Hope everyone likes this chap. I tried to come up with some funny stuff. This is probably the biggest hunk of crap I've ever written in my whole life, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway :) And, I would like to have ten reviews per chapter please!

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Disclaimer: Can't think of a funny one right now. Don't own it.

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Christine yelped for about the millionth time as Mme. Giry dragged her out to the stage where rehearsal was going on "Hey! Watch it! Owww, you're hurting me!" she yelped

"You're such a baby! Shut up! Ballet rehearsal already started and I won't be late just because I have to baby-sit an idiot today!"

"Geez, for some old lady, you're really mean. You're hurting my feelings!" Christine whimpered, using the puppy dog pout

Mme. Giry turned around and looked at her "Ooooh, you poor thing. Am I really?"

"Yeah"

"GOOD!" she screamed "Ahh, finally. We made it just in time for rehearsal. Now, ballet is very complex. It requires grace, poise, and intense training to become perfectly apt at the art. Every move you make must be utterly and completely perfect. Now, when you are instructing young ballet students, it's important to..."

While Mme. Giry continues her big, long, boring speech about ballet, here's what Christine was basically thinking:

-Hmm, wonder what all those big words mean? It's just a ballet class. Can't be that hard. I mean, I was a ballerina for like ten minutes at the beginning of the movie, even though all I did was wear a skimpy outfit and do a few dance moves on the floor. Piece of cake.

-I like cake. I want some cake. Oh no, I gotta watch my figure cause I'm a ballerina now! But that would mean I'm fat! But I like cake! I have the worst craving for cake right now, but I can't get fat! What can I do? Maybe I'll try the South Beach Diet.

-What was Mme. Giry talking about again?

-Okay, lady, your mouth still keeps moving, but I'm not hearing anything. Oh god, what if I'm going deaf? Or losing my hearing because I'm old! But, I'm only like, 20! I can't be that old yet! Noo! I don't wanna be old!

-Wonder how old Mme. Giry actually is? She looks like she's seventy or something. Wait, if she's seventy, how's she still do all those ballet moves? Have to think about that.

-What was I just thinking about? Probably Erik. God, he's hot. Especially hot. Way hotter than Raoul. I can't believe how hot he is. So sexy. So damn sexy. I love Erik when he's naked-"

"CHRISTINE!" Mme. Giry yelled "Did you hear a word I just said?"

"No. I mean, YES!"

"Okay, then come on! We must begin class!"

So, ten minutes later, Christine was in front of about 20 snot-nosed little ballet brats, had no idea what she was supposed to be doing, and Mme. Giry was clapping her hands and screaming at the kids like some maniac.

"All right children. Today, we have a substitute teacher. Her name is Mlle. Daae, and she will be taking Meg's place today as Assistant Ballet Mistress. So, now that that's settled, Mlle. Daae, start teaching, and I'm going to go get some coffee. And kids, Mlle. Daae had better not have any broken bones, injuries, internal bleeding, concussions, or be dead when I come back. Understand?"

"Yes Mme. Giry" the little ballet brats chorused

"Yeah, and you brats better not mess up any of my makeup either" Christine added forcefully

Mme. Giry groaned and left

Christine looked around at the twenty young girls surrounding her "Okay, let's do ballet stuff" Christine said gleefully

"Like what?" one asked

"Uhh, uhhh, uhhh, I'll get back to you on that" Christine said, taking off. She frantically searched through her mind trying to remember anything about ballet, but all she could think of was the song that was running through her head, which just happened to be _The Dick Van Dyke Show_ theme song.

"Uh, lady, are we gonna start dancing soon? Like, before we're as old as you are" a ballet brat asked

At that, Christine sharply turned around "I am not old! Not old! Not Old! Not old! I'm still young! I can't be getting old yet. Oh god, what if I am? I thought I saw a wrinkle the other day. Oh my god, I'm old! I won't be pretty anymore! I'm gonna start getting saggy skin and arthritis and I could go bald. NOOOO!" she screamed, basically having a fit

The students just stood there, watching their substitute roll around on the floor, screaming like an idiot.

When Christine was finally done having a fit, she stood back up "Okay, where were we?"

"You were supposed to start class" a girl prodded

"Oh yeah. Right. Uhhh, okay. Well, uhhhh, All right already, I don't know anything about ballet. I'm stupid, and I don't know anything. Nobody likes me anymore! I can't do anything" she sobbed, getting right back to where she left off in her last fit.

Erik, who had been watching the scene from above, smacked himself on the forehead. He was not going to lose the bet he made to Raoul, and that meant he had to make sure Christine won. But how?

Five minutes later, Erik dropped a book he had just speed written from the rafters "Hey, ballet brats, heads up" he called

At that, all the girls started shrieking and cowering in fear at the thought of the opera ghost, and ran to the other side of the stage. Christine actually looked straight up, and the book hit her smack on the head, knocking her out (temporally)

When Christine woke up five minutes later, all the girls were huddled in the corner, screaming from fright because Erik was tormenting them while Christine was unconscious by screaming horrible ghost noises and stuff like "I am the Phantom of the Opera! Beware my ghostly powers! I need to **_kiiiiiiiiillllllllll_** again! I want to suck your **_blood_**" into the megaphone.

Christine looked up and screamed "ERIK! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA HAVE A SCREAMING FIT AGAIN!"

Erik hurriedly dropped the megaphone and ran out of sight.

"Okay, now that that's over, everyone come on out. Time for class" Christine said, kneeling down

"What if the Opera Ghost tries to kill us?" Bridget asked

Christine scoffed "Kill you? Please, don't make me laugh"

"But, he's like, deadly" one pointed out

Christine scooted over to them "Girls, I'll let you in on a little secret: The Opera Ghost isn't that dangerous. Extremely sexy, but not dangerous. All you have to do is show him the color pink, and he'll run for his life"

"Wow" they all chorused

"Wait" Marie broke in "How do you know that? You're just making this up, aren't you?"

Christine was deeply offended by this "I soooo am not! I know him"

This brought a chorus of gasps from the group

"Really?"

"What's he like?"

"Is he even hotter up close?"

Christine made that stupid zip-your-lips-and-throw-away-the-key gesture "Sorry, that's personal"

"See, I told you guys. She doesn't really know him, or you'd tell us all about him" Marie challenged

"I do too!"

"Then tell us about him"

Over the next course of a half-hour, the twenty ballet brats learned a ton of... interesting facts about Erik, such as:

"He crochets, he loves football, he has four pairs of music note boxer shorts (which I bought him), he can't cook, he's engaged to Meg, he's terrified off the color pink, the QVC ordering number is on his speed dial, you can torture him by watching or mentioning _Titanic_, _Gone with the Wind, Casablanca _and other beautiful, romantically-fluffy movies, and he doesn't like Bath and Body works, their lotions, shampoos, soaps and he hates shopping." Christine finished

All the girls sighed and the rest of their conversations went something like this:

"God, he seems even hotter now"

"He sounds so cute!"

"I wanna marry the Opera Ghost when I grow up"

"Okay" Christine interrupted "Time to start class"

The girls ignored her and continued the conversation

"Oh god, the Phantom is so cute!"

"Cute? He's sexy. My god, he's way hotter than that Vicomte guy"

"Damn right. He is such a moron."

"Yeah, did you-"

"Girls! Time to start class!" Christine snapped

Once again, they ignored her

"The Phantom is so much hotter than him"

"Can you imagine how sexy he must look without a shirt on?"

"Oh my god, what would he look like nake-"

"GIRLS! TIME TO START CLASS! NOW GET!" Christine screamed in a shrill voice

The girls hurriedly scrambled to the bare

"All righty then. Ummm, I'm gonna get some help on this whole teaching thing" Christine looked at the book Erik had given her. The title read:

****

Teaching Ballet Class While Trying to Win a Bet You Made without Calling Your Best Friend, Best Friend's Mother, Best Friend's Incredibly Hot Fiancé, or Anyone Else to Help You Because You're Too Proud and/or Stupid.

Christine flipped through the book. Inside were step by step instructions, drawings, diagrams, routines, the whole nine yards.

"Whooo. Thank you Opera Ghost." Christine sighed

"Okay. First position" she called out

The girls got into first position

"Second position"

The girls got into second position

"Third position"

The girls got into third position and so on.

After doing the five positions for about an hour, the girls were very tired of it, and annoyed

"Could we stop this already?"

"This is so boring!"

"Can't you do anything else?"

"I'M TRYING HERE!" Christine screamed, a bit frustrated. Even though she was using a _For Dummies_ book, her intelligence level wasn't that high. Okay, it was low. Super low, and that said, a _For Dummies_ book was way too complicated for her pea-sized brain.

"I don't understand this book! Why's everything so hard! Everybody's smarter than me! I'm so stupid. Everybody else thinks I'm stupid too! I can't believe it! Nobody likes me! Everyone must be out to get me! I..."

By now, the girls were so sick of this. So, while Christine was on the floor, they swarmed around her, and blew hundreds of spitballs at her, making her cry for mercy. The girls kept the spitballs coming, and eventually, Christine got herself off the floor, and in a standing position. The girls kept firing spitballs at her and now a few were even throwing tomatoes and water balloons. They were booing and starting to form a riot. Christine ran, and the girls followed her all around the stage and backstage. She screamed, and the spitballs increased. By now, Christine was wet, her makeup and hair were ruined, and she was screaming and crying like a baby. Half the girls were doubled over in laughter, and the other half kept throwing spitballs. Finally, the girl's mouths were so dry, they were forced to stop. Christine eventually quit crying.

"What do we do now?" Julie asked

Suddenly, Christine got an idea. Who said she only had to teach ballet? This was a _dance_ class. So, she should be teaching dance. That made much more sense (well, at least it does for stupid people :)

"Okay everyone. We're gonna learn some dance moves." With that, Christine popped a party music C.D. into the player, and started doing the robot. Next, she tried moon walking, but she fell down and while she was on the floor, she slid around and spun.

The girls stood there, jaws dropped

"Come on everyone! Get up and dance!" Christine called out excitedly

Ten minutes later, the girls and Christine had done the electric slide, the cabbage patch, and were in the middle of break-dancing when Mme. Giry came in.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON HERE?"

Everyone instantly stopped. Mme. Giry was standing on the other side of the stage, shaking from a mixture of waaayyy too much caffeine and fury

"What do you all think you're doing? This is a ballet class! Ballet! Not some street-dancing block party! And you!" she said, pointing to Christine

"Meg would never had acted this way! You are a shameful excuse for Assistant Ballet Mistress! An absolute disgrace"

"No I'm not! Why are you so mean to me? I don't have very high self esteem anyways and now this! The girls were mean to me, you're mean to me, everybody's being mean to me! I can't take it" she sobbed

Mme. Giry just drank more coffee while watching Christine

"Nobody likes me anymore! I'm so unpopular! Why doesn't anybody be nice to me? I'm not that big of a - what did you call me a few lines of dialogue ago?" Christine asked

"A shameful excuse for Assistant Ballet Mistress and An absolute disgrace" Mme. Giry suggested

"Yeah, I'm not any of those big words! And nobody's nice to me! Everybody thinks I'm some ditzy, air headed, singer!"

"But you _are _some ditzy, air-headed singer!" Mme. Giry said

"See!" Christine cried

Mme. Giry showed her some sympathy "Poor dear. Oh well, nobody cares. Now, time to conduct this class correctly. Christine, get off the floor and quite acting like a whiny baby. Tough it up, you ditz"

"Hey!"

"You are what you are. Now, up!" she said, forcefully pulling Christine to her feet

"Now, let us begin. The routine we performed for _Hannibal_, please"

So, Christine watched the girls dance with Mme. Giry. Until, Mme. Giry came up behind Christine "You! You are not the Head Ballet Mistress! You must dance with the rest of them!"

"Wait, you mean I have to do ballet?"

"That is exactly what I mean! Now, DANCE!" she cried, shoving Christine into a line of dancers. Christine stumbled along, trying to do what the rest of the girls were doing. Eventually, she just got lost, got back into the line, and started doing the can-can. Mme. Giry offered some...constructive criticism while all this was going on.

"You! Daae, get your head in the game! I mean, in the ballet! That's the best you can do? Come on, dance! Get your head up. Stop that, we are not doing the can-can right now! Augghhh, everybody, stop!"

With that, Madame Giry gulped down the rest of her coffee, and bounced over to where the ballet brats and Christine were.

"Now, since you are all such pitiful excuses for ballerinas, and can't do the simplest of routines, I will have to demonstrate. Move to one side, come on. Now watch"

Mme. Giry started demonstrating the routine in hyper speed, working off all the caffeine and energy she had from drinking six cups of Starbucks. Eventually, she just became a big, black, blur, and the girls got a headache just watching her.

"Got it?"

The girls all nodded

"Then let the rehearsal begin" Mme. Giry said, an evil glint in her eye that was directed at Christine.

And so, after four hours of agonizing stretching, positions, routines, pilates, and other ballet stuff, Christine was too tired to breathe. Her feet were bleeding, her muscles were aching, and Madame Giry had yelled at her so much, Christine just never stopped crying, and the tears and sobs blended from one fit to the next.

Christine was holding onto the bare and looking at herself in the mirror, admiring her beauty and fixing her makeup, when she noticed a small red button on the under side of the bare

"Hey" she squealed excitedly "What does this button do?" she wondered out loud as she pressed it

"NOOOOO! Christine, don't" Mme. Giry screamed.

Too late. Christine pressed the button. The entire bar and mirror flipped over to reveal a secret passageway that led to... Erik's lair. And Erik just happened to be walking through it.

"Uh-oh" Christine said

"GET HIM!" Annie screamed

Immediately, all twenty ballet girls started screaming and ran to the passageway. They fought to get through, trampling over one another and screaming at Erik. Madame Giry and Christine fought to hold them back, while they started throwing autograph books, cameras, their shirts, and various other things at Erik while screaming their guts out. It was a riot.

Eventually, the girls wore Christine and Madame Giry down, and charged at Erik. He shot Christine a murderous look, then took off running down the passageway. The girls tackled Erik, screaming marriage proposals and singing stuff to him. Christine and Mme. Giry chased after them. They were able to drag the ballet brats up off Erik and back to the stage. Two of the brats had a piece of fabric they ripped from Erik's trousers, one had a ruffle off his shirt, and another had a piece of his hair.

When they all got back to the stage, Mme. Giry gave Christine a deadly look "Girls" she commanded "Go back to the ballet dormitories. I'll be with you in a moment "

All the girls scurried away, and then, the true torture begin.

"CHRISTINE!" Mme. Giry yelled, lunging at her. She proceeded to beat Christine mercilessly with her cane, until Christine was pleading for mercy. A noise from the passageway made them both look up

"Ahemm" Erik said. "I believe I have something that's your, Mme. Giry" He gestured to the two ballet brats he was holding by their shirt collars, who were squealing with delight at the thought of the Phantom touching them

"I guess we didn't get all of them" Christine said sheepishly

Erik looked at Christine "Shut up, Daae. Anyway, these two must have followed me back to the lair. They got lost, and then they burst in when I was in the middle of... important business."

"Like what?" Mme. Giry asked

" He was crocheting and arguing with a QVC telephone operator about his method of payment" one ballet brat said

"He doesn't have a credit card, or a checking account" the other added helpfully

Erik scowled "As I said, I was taking care of important business when these two burst in. So, here they are back." He dropped them to the floor "Oh, by the way, is Christine winning the bet?"

"Why do you wanna know?" Mme. Giry asked

"Because, I just, uh, wanna"

"Erik, she'll be lucky if she lasts until six o'clock"

Erik groaned and left

"All right Christine, you've been through enough today. Come, let's retire to the ballet dormitories."

"Yes!" Christine squealed "You mean I get to retire? I don't have to work anymore!"

"No, you dumb ass, 'retire' is an old fashioned word for rest or quit. I swear, you must get dumber by the minute"

Christine grinned "Thank you"

So, Christine made it to the ballet dormitories. They was a take-out bag from McDonald's sitting by her bedside (compliments of Erik) "Thank god, I need some fast food"

Just as she was about to chow down into some delicious, fatty, French fries, Mme. Giry snatched the bag away from her

"Hey!" Christine yelled

"Sorry. Ballerinas can't eat fast food. You're watching your figure"

"But, I'm leaving at 2:00 tomorrow. I won't be a ballerina then"

"Don't really care. You are Assistant Ballet Mistress today, and that means you must watch your figure and turn all fast food over to the Head Ballet Mistress"

"Are you sure?" Christine asked

"Positive. Now, give me the Big Mac, the chicken Nuggets, and the soda. Especially the soda"

"The soda's caffeine free"

"Eww, keep the soda"

Christine grudgingly handed over the fast food

"Besides" Mme. Giry continued "All this fat will lead you to an early grave."

"But, I already die earlier than you do in the movie, so what's it matter?"

"Shut up."

"Okay" Christine said Mme. Giry began to go back to her dressing room "Hey, what am I supposed to eat?"

" Here's some crackers" Mme. Giry called, throwing her a pack

"Sucker" Mme. Giry muttered when she was out of the room

Christine eventually ate the crackers, drank the soda, wrote in her diary, and fell asleep, hoping tomorrow wouldn't be this hard, and hoping she could last until tomorrow. Unfortuatly, just as she was falling asleep, Erik started blasting some 50 cent rap music in his lair and singing along to it, which Christine could hear through the vent system. She wrapped her pillow around her ears, and eventually screamed "Erik! Shut up! I can't sleep!"

"So?"

"So turn the damn music off!"

"I don't wanna. Besides, you're always saying 'In sleep he sang to me'!" he screamed back

"I don't care. Do you always have to sing when I'm falling asleep?"

"Yes."

"So stuff it! I wanna go to bed"

" IF YOU TWO DON'T SHUT UP IN THERE, I'M GONNA CANE YOU BOTH!" Mme. Giry screamed from her room

Erik shut the music off , and he and Christine both shut up. Christine fell asleep that night thinking about how hot Erik looked in his "Point of No Return" suit.

Uhh, I mean, Christine fell asleep that night thinking about how cute her darling husband Raoul was and how she couldn't wait to see him tomorrow

-**Excuse the authoress while she goes and pukes from re-reading that last sentence**-

* * *

Anywhere you go, let me go too.** _Review_,** that's All I'm Asking of You People! Geez...


	6. It's Finally Over! : Part One

A Girls Day Out

Chapter 6: It's Finally Over! **Part One**

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Well, the last chapter has finally arrived. So sad it's finally over. But, the good news is that this chap. is jam packed with laughs and really long.

I, unfortunatly, had to split this chapter into two parts mainly because the ending is waaayyy to long to be one chapter, and I needed more time to work on it and update it ( I am currently very pressed for time when it comes to writing Fanfiction), so I split the chap into two parts.

I just wanted to say to my reviewers : THANK YOU! Huge thank yous to everyone who reviewed! I loved reading them, and I tried to use all the funny stunts and suggestions you guys sent in. They were really encouraging, and just THANK YOU! So, if you wouldn't mind, please review this story one last time ;) I would just love it if this story got 60 or more reviews!

Also, I will not be doing a sequel to this story, because I can't really drag it out much longer. So I tried to make this last chap as funny as possible. Sorry :) . Thanks for reading!

* * *

Disclaimer: Anyone out there who truly believes I own POTO is even stupider and/or crazier than I am.

* * *

Meg was counting the minutes until 2:00. Since Raoul had come back for the remainder of the afternoon, her life basically plunged back into a living hell filled with agony, torture, pain and misery. 

(A.K.A, Raoul was having another make up crisis)

"Meg, which lip gloss goes better with my complexion?"

"Don't know, don't care"

"How about Cheery Cherry?"

"Don't care"

"Mango Mania?"

"Don't care"

" Perky Peach?"

" Raoul, shut up"

"But then I can't put my lip gloss on"

"Auggghhh, how much longer do I have to do this?" Meg groaned, throwing herself onto the bed

" I don't know. But, you have to win"

Meg sat up and looked at Raoul oddly "Why?"

"Because I need to win the b- I mean uhh, I really want you to win. You're so nice"

"Why do you know that I don't?" Meg asked suspiciuosly"Whoa, that sounded really retarded"

"Nothing. I just, uhhh, don't want Christine to come back just yet"

"Oh. Okay"

"So, which lip gloss?"

"Just pick one already"

Raoul gasped "I can't 'just pick one'! It's LIP GLOSS! This is a major decision that takes great consideration and preparation and- wait, what was I talking about again?"

"You were about to go get me some ice cream from the kitchen" Meg said

"Oh right. Okay" Raoul skipped down the stairs and returned five minutes later with an empty ice cream bowl and a chocolate mustache

"Where's my ice cream?" Meg asked

"Oh, that. I got hungry on the way back up the stairs, so I ate it"

"Moron"

"Thanks!"

"Go get me more"

"Okay"

So, Raoul came back up and he and Meg went through the same scenario three times, and by then Raoul had a major tummy ache from eating three bowls of ice cream and running up four flights of stairs, and the results weren't pretty.

"Meg, my tummy hurts" Raoul moaned, lying on the floor

"Then quit eating all my ice cream you dummy"

"Christine always rubs my tummy and sings stuff to me when my tummy hurts"

"Do I look like Christine?"

"No, Christine's way more pretty than you are"

Meg glared at him "What did you say?"

"I said ' No, Christine's way more pretty than you ar- oh, whoops"

So, Meg, (taking after her mother) got her really heavy purse and hit Raoul with it about eight times. By then, Raoul was screaming like a girl and Meg was exhausted. And, Raoul's tummy still hurt, so Meg had to (attempt) to pick him up, put him on her lap, and sing to him while rocking him back and forth.

"All right you baby, is your stupid tummy okay now?"

"No"

"Well, what else do I have to do to get you to SHUT UP!"

" Rock me up and down"

"Oh, god, what next?" she groaned

But, since Raoul was so heavy, she ended up dropping him on the floor and God forbid, Raoul feel on two tubes of lip gloss and one of his concealers.

"NOOOO!" he wailed "They're gone! I can't believe it! How could you? You killed them, you, you lip-gloss murderer!"

"Oh suck it up, you fop. It's only lip gloss"

Raoul glared at her while cradling his smashed lip gloss tubes "Only lip gloss? ONLY LIP GLOSS! Do you know how much each of these lip gloss meant to me? They were special friends to me. I loved them more than anything!"

"Oh for God's sake, it's makeup! Don't have a heart attack. Sheesh"

"You don't understand! I loved my makeup more than anything!"

"More than Christine?"

"Yeah! Uh,I mean, NO. I loved them both the same."

"Of course you do"

"I can't even believe you would think I love my makeup more than my wife! (Even if I really do)"

" All right that's it" Meg groaned. She started to stomp down the stairs "I've had it. Twenty-four hours of dealing with the most idiotic fop on the face of the earth, his over emotional wife and his incredibly hot but ridiculous phantomlike best friend! It's a wonder I'm not insane! I can't take another minute of this!"

Raoul gasped "What do you mean?"

Meg grabbed her coat from the closet "I can't rake it anymore! I don't care about the consequences or how much humiliation Christie will put me through I'VE HAD IT! I'm forfeiting this stupid bet and I don't care if I lose!" She started to open the door

Raoul,somehow made the connection that if Meg lost this bet, that meant he would lose the bet he made with Erik and Erik would call him all those mean names again. Raoul ran to the door in front of Meg and blocked her way out

"Wait! Meg, you can't leave! Please, don't leave yet! You'll lose the bet!"

"So? What do you care?"

"Because, then I'll lose the bet I made t- I mean, you can't lose the bet! You worked so hard! And besides, Christine will never let you forget it!"

Meg thought for a moment "True"

"Yeah! You can't just quit!"

"And I also can't stand another minute dealing with you or I'm gonna be sick!"

"I promise I'll be really good! I won't drive you nuts anymore! Pleeeeasssee? Pretty please? With some, uh, some of that ballet crap you like on top?"

"Well, all right. but only until 2:00. The minute it's 2:00, you go right back to Christine and out of my hair."

"Deal"

"All right. It's only a few more hours until 2:00. Until then, we're going to have some fun" Meg said, with an evil glare in her eye.

Two hours later, Raoul was exhausted. He'd had to do every single thing Meg asked to get her not to lose the bet. And she asked for a lot of stuff, including a shopping spree on Raoul's MasterCard, a movie, and a dancing class. When they got back home, she made Raoul do all the housework while pampering her and finally, had him dance around in a ballet costume while singing the words" I'm A Girly Fop" to the melody of "I'm A Little Teacup" for her own sick amusement.

Eventually, 1:30 rolled around and Meg and Raoul were intently watching the clock, counting the minutes until two. But, since Raoul couldn't tell time, this proved to be quite a problem

"Meg, is it 2:00 yet?"

"No Raoul"

"Okay."

--Three seconds later--

"Meg is it 2:00 yet?"

"No Raoul"

--One minute later--

"Meg, is it 2:00 yet?"

"No, Raoul!"

--One minute, thirty-four seconds later--

"Meg, is it 2:00 yet?

"For the last freakin' time, you idiot, NO it is NOT 2:00 yet!"

"How about now?"

"Uggggh! That is it! Come on, you moron, we're leaving!"

"What?" Raoul asked, confused as usual as Meg started dragging him out the door to the car

"I don't give a shit whether or not I win this bet anymore. Christine must have been out of her mind when she married you! I can't stand being around you another minute! And I don't care what I lost from this bet! We're going back to the Opera House and I guess I've lost the bet now, but guess what: I DON'T CARE!"

"Meg, don't you wanna think about it more? I mean, come on, you're gonna make me lose my be- Never mind. But, please, don't quit! Pleeeeasssseee!"

"Oh, would you shut up already? Just get in the car!" Meg jumped in and threw Raul in while she started revving up the engine.

"Okay. Wait, what are we doing again?"

" I need a beer" Meg muttered

* * *

Christine was absolutely miserable. She knew she only had to make it until 2:00 to win the bet. But, everybody was being so mean to her at ballet class, especially Mme. Giry 

Christine had to get up at 5:00 AM to start morning stretches, and she was one very cranky ballerina. Then, at breakfast, she couldn't have anything with a high fat or salt content, since she was watching her figure. So, she had to watch Mme. Giry scarf down a Sausage, Egg and CheeseMcGridle, an Egg McMuffin, some hash browns and some reeeaaaallly strong coffee while she had a salad. Eventually, Christine couldn't take it, and there was a violent death match for the remaining Cinnamon Bun between Christine and Mme. Giry, which Mme. Giry won.

Since Mme. Giry was so high on caffeine, she decided to force Christine to do the chores. But, Christine apparently was cleaning much to slowly for Mme. Giry, so Mme. Giry swiped the supplies out of her hands and ran around like a maniac, cleaning everything in sight. While she was doing that Christine (for once in her life) acted intelligently and snuck off to the rec room to watch _Titanic _yet again. She got through about two hours of it before Mme. Giry found out what she was up to, beat her violently with her cane, and dragged her back upstairs.

So, after that there was another ballet class, but this one was for young men. Mme. Giry introduced Christine to them, and once again, left to go get even more Starbucks.

Christine stood at the head of the class, very cranky and upset. Half of the boys were waiting impatiently to begin, some were starring off into space, and most of them were starring at Christine's boobs.

"Okay, boys, what do you think we should do today?" Christine asked, very bored and cranky

"Why are you asking us?" one asked

" Because I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to be doing with you guys."

"You're the teacher, you're supposed to know."

Christine immediately started crying "Oh, so just because I have no clue how to teach ballet because I'm not really a ballet teacher because I'm filling in for my best friend because we made a bet on who could last longer in each other's lifestyles and I don't know what to do with you guys, that means I'm stupid? Just because I'm not that great at ballet doesn't mean I'm dumb! Nobody thinks I'm smart! Nobody likes me, they just like starring at my boobs! Which, by the way is very disturbing."

The boys continued starring as Christine started sobbing and crying like a baby

"Nobody ever takes me seriously! I'm just a pretty girl with a pretty voice that's stupid! Nobody pays attention to me! Everybody just immediately tunes out whenever I start talking! Hey, are you guys even listening to me!"

They continued starring at her boobs, totally not paying attention.

Eventually, Christine calmed herself down. She attempted to start class, even though she had no clue what she was doing. By this time, almost all of the boys were starring at her boobs, and four had given her their cell phone numbers.

"All right, let's begin. Uhh, okay, what the heck are male dancers supposed to do?"

"We don't know. They barely showed any male dancers in the movie."

"So, you guys have no clue what's going on?"

"No idea"

"Greeeeeeaaaaaat"

"So, what are we gonna do until Mme. Giry gets back?"

"Well, you could demand that your substitute shimmies into her Point of No Return dress and starts stripping" a mysteries voice Christine knew was Erik's shouted loudly and evilly from the rafters.

Half the boys stared up at the rafters looking for the Opera Ghost, while the other half looked excitedly at Christine and took Erik's suggestion

Christine was now furious. It was bad enough she couldn't get the boys under control with out Erik interfering again. "ERIK!" she screamed "You had better shut up with the wise cracks about my PONR dress or I'm gonna come up there and kick the crap out of you!"

"Wait, did you just say "You had better shut up with the wise cracks about my PORNO dress! My god, how much of a sicko are you!"

"You idiot! I said **P- O- N- R**, which is the abbreviation for "Point of No Return" that Phans frequently use instead of writing out "Point of No Return" all the time because Andrew Lloyd Webber had to write such friggin' long song titles!"

"Oh, just wondering, cause it's really hard to hear stuff from up here"

"And if ANYONE is the sicko here, it's YOU Mr. "I'm already engaged to someone else but I'm still obsessed with the girl I never could have who is currently MARRIED!"

"To a fop" Erik added

"Well, yeah, that's true. Hey!"

The class of boys were just standing there, trying to figure out what the heck was going on, who their substitute was shouting to, and wondering why oh why they had to be stuck in a ballet class with an totally insane -but hot- substitute.

"Mlle. Daae, are you okay? Like, uh, mentally?" one boy asked

Christine starred at him "Why? Do you think I'm crazy? Oh my god, you guys think I'm crazy! I can't believe this! How could you say that?"

"Maybe because you **_are_** crazy" the boys (and Erik) replied in unison

"Why is everyone so mean to me? Nobody is ever nice to me! Why can't you mean people ever be nice? WHY!"

By this point, the boys were exasperated at the thought of spending two and a half hours with a crazy woman. Erik was ready to pull his hair out since he knew he wasn't making it any easier on Christine and she would probably lose this bet. But hey, tormenting her was too much fun to resist.

A little bit later, Christine had had enough. All the boys did was

A) Stare at her boobs

B) Beg her to go out with them

C) Drive her crazy or

D) Throw various pieces of fruit, spitballs, and their clothing at her. Erik was laughing uncontrollably by now. Christine was frazzled (God forbid) her makeup and hair were a mess and she'd already lost one of her shoes. That, unfortunately was when Mme. Giry decided to come back from her coffee break

"Christine Daae! Boys, stop throwing pieces of fruit and your shirts at her! WHAT IS GOIN' ON HERE!"

Everyone stopped and starred at Mme. Giry, who apparently had had way more than enough caffeine.

"You! Christine, you are such a wimp! My god, when are you ever going to just suck it up and start teaching! I can't believe how irresponsible and stupid you are!"

"I so am not any of those big words you just called me! Erik keeps yelling stuff at me and the boys, the boys listen to him and then everybody yells at me! I didn't do anything! Why does everybody always just blame the stupid, naive, opera singer slash temporary substitute Assistant Ballet Mistress!"

"Because you're stupid, overemotional and you have no clue what you're doing! I have no clue why you though you could actually win this bet! My god, you can't even get through a simple male dance class without sobbing like an idiot! You are such a baby!"

"THAT'S IT!" Christine screamed "I can't take this anymore! I QUIT! I don't care about this stupid bet! Everybody's mean to me: Mme. Giry yells at me and canes me, Erik torments me, and kids are throwing stuff at me and starring at my boobs! I quit!"

Erik stopped laughing immediately. This couldn't be happening. Christine was probably just having another stupid fit of hers.

"I am TOTALLY serious! I QUIT! I'm leaving here!"

Erik couldn't believe it! After all the stuff he'd gone through, Christine was gonna quit! This couldn't be happening! Even worse, this meant Erik was gonna lose his bet! To a fop!

"Christine!" he called out "Don't quit! Keep going! There's only twenty more minutes left! You can't quit"

"Oh shut up already! What's it to you!"

"Because, I am not about to los- let you lose this bet! We- You worked too hard to win!"

"I don't care! I cannot take one more freakin' second of this anymore!"

Erik jumped down from the rafters, nearly giving Mme. Giry (who was yet again working off some excess caffeine by demonstrating a routine in hyper speed) a heart attack which caused her to cane him and make him scream for mercy. He took off running and was momentarily stopped by a glob of boys from the class who were shoving notebooks and tape recorders at him, desperately wanting to know the best ways to seduce a girl and how to attract naive young girls by looking disfigured and yet totally hot at the same time. After Erik shoved them all out of the way, he ran after Christine. She was sobbing like an idiot and running through a secret passageway which lead to... Erik's lair.

"Oh shit" Erik muttered. Christine absolutely, positively, could not go in his lair at that exact minute. He had to stop her!

Too late. Christine flipped the switch and ran into Erik's lair.

"NOOOOOOOO" Erik screamed, diving towards Christine to stop her. He missed and fell headfirst in a heap at Christine's feet. He heard her gasp disbelievingly and start laughing uncontrollably. Erik slowly looked up, cringing at what his lair looked like. There were five sewing and knitting machines, all going crazy and spewing out random pieces of clothing and patterns. There were dozens of crossword puzzle books and unopened knitting and crocheting packages from QVC everywhere. The TV was currently turned on QVC, which just had to be displaying the home interior segment Erik was planning on taping. Erik's latte machine was spewing out stuff everywhere, Erik's phone was off the hook 'cause he forgot to hang it back up after being put on hold for three hours while trying to order more stuff from QVC, and on top of that, Toby Keith's " _Who's Your Dadd_y" was blasting so loud, Erik couldn't hear himself think. He hurriedly lunged for the remote and turned it off.

Christine's jaw was practically on the floor.

And, exactly at that minute, Meg and Raoul came bursting in.

Christine starred at Meg, Meg starred at Christine, and Erik and Raoul both ducked for cover.

"Meg, I cant do this-"

"Christine, I'm gonna lose it-"

"I QUIT!" Christine and Meg both shouted

* * *

So, whois finally going to win? How will everyone react to seeing Erik's totally un-phantomly lair? And who will win the bet between Raoul and Erik? You'll just have to wait for Part 2 for the answer to all of these questions and more! 

And in the meantime, how about reviewing and seeing if you can predict who will win both bets and everyone's reactions? ;)


	7. It's Finally Over! : Part Two

A Girl's Day Out

Chapter Seven: It's Finally Over! Part Two

A/N: Hello everyone! So sad to see it's finally arrived, but here it is, the absolutley, last, final chapter.After this, nothing more. Nada. Zip. Zulch.(I know, I know,I'm way to overdramatic at times, especially when it comes to ending my stories ;) It has been so much fun writing this story and I loved every minute of it! Especially reading all of the reviews . They were really encouraging and helpful at times, and I love them! All of your questions will finally be answered. I hope this story turned out the way everyone hoped it would. So anyway, in case anyone cares, I won't be writing a ton of stories after this. I'm taking a brief break from writing, but I will be working on two or three new stories I hope to publish at a later time. I hope everyone will like this chap, seeing as it is the grand finale, and, please, REVIEW!

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't own it, sob, sob, sob. O.K., on to the story already!

* * *

So, beginning from where we last left off: 

_**Christine starred at Meg, Meg starred at Christine, and Erik and Raoul both ducked for cover.**_

_**"Meg, I can't do this-"**_

_**"Christine, I'm gonna lose it-"**_

_**"I QUIT!" Christine and Meg both shouted**_

* * *

Both girls looked at each other in amazement. 

"So, who won?" Raoul asked

Nobody answered him.

After a few minutes of confusion and tension, Christine broke down

"I can't take it anymore Meg! You have it so hard!I mean,a caffeine addicted mother constantly yelling at you, girls throwing stuff at you, boys staring at your boobs, Erik tormenting you-"

"Erik never torments me. Erik" Meg said, letting the rest of the sentence trail off suspiciously while glaring at Erik. Erik fiddled with his collar and pretended not to hear Meg.

"I mean, Meg, I can't take it anymore! I QUIT!"

"O.K., fine by me"

Christine and Erik both starred at Meg while Raoul was starring off into space and cluelessly picking his nose.

"Wait, Meg, what were you saying when I screamed I quit?" Christine asked

"Yeah, Meg, what did you say?" Erik asked suspiciously

"I said, ummmm, "Christine, I quit... keeping time! Yeah, that's it. I quit keeping time about an hour ago, so I wasn't sure if it was two o'clock yet, but I'm pretty sure it was. So, I guess I won the bet!"

"Really? Are you sure?" Christine asked

"Positive! I was still in when you quit, so that means, I WIN!"

"Nooo!" Christine wailed

"So" Meg grinned evilly "Christine, since you lost, you have to do whatever I want for a whole month. And I want a lot of stuff"

"Wait one stinkin'minute here Meg. Who said you won the bet?" Erik asked

"What's it to you?"

Now, Erik couldn't very well explain that he wanted Christine to win instead of his finance so he wouldn't lose his bet to Raoul, so he came up with a totally intelligent suggestion.

" Yeah, but Meg, you already have so much brains, beauty and brawn. Winning this bet might be the only thing Christine's got going for her. And plus, her boobs are so much smaller than yours."

Everyone stared at Erik for a minute.

"So, anyways,I just have to say one thing" Meg cleared her throat "Ahemm. I WON! Haha! I won and you lost! I'm the winner and you're the LOSER! Whoooo! I am number one! Who is the winner? I AM! YESSSSS!"

Raoul looked at Meg and his pea sized brain somehow made a connection "So, you're saying Meg won?"

" No shit Sherlock" Christine replied

"Wait a minute, if Meg won that means that-"

Erik could see where Raoul was headed and he cut him off

"Christine lost and she'll be very upset. You should go console her"

"No Erik, that means that I won our bet! Haha, who is the LOSER now! I won!"

"Won what?" Christine and Meg both asked

"Nothing" Erik replied

"Nothing? What do ya mean nothing? Don't you remember like, two days ago you were whining about Meg and I was whining about Christine and we made that bet on who would win they bet they made?"

"Yeah, Raoul, I remembered, I just wasn't that STUPID to MENTION IT IN FRONT OF OUR WIVES/FIANCEES!"

"You mean, you _bet_ on who would win our bet?" Christine asked

"Yeah"

"You assholes!" Meg and Christine both replied, slapping their husbands/fiancées

"And the best part is, I won! I won,I won, I won! Erik owes me a hundred francs cause Meg won!"

"Oh you freakin' idiot, now you've done it!" Erik groaned

Meg grabbed Erik up by the shirt collar "You mean you two morons not only bet on who would win our bet in the first place, but you didn't even bet on ME!"

"Well, uh, no. But sweetie-"

"Don't you even sweet talk me! Christine" Meg barked "Aren't you mad at Raoul?"

" Uhhh, no. I'm confused"

"Christine, Erik and Raoul made a bet on who would win _our_ bet! And Raoul bet that I would win and Erik bet that YOU would win!"

Christine glared at Raoul "Raaaoooouul!" she shrieked. Both women turned and furiously rounded on the guys, a strange, demonic look in their eyes. The guys started to slowly back away

"Raoul"

"Yeah Erik?"

" I strongly suggest that we do something"

"Like what?" Raoul asked as their furious wives/fiancées were backing them into a corner

"RUN FOR IT!" Erik yelled

So, the two idiotic morons ran around the lair, screaming like banshees while their wives/fiancées chased them around the lair, shouting phrases a bit too strong for a T rated fic. When they finally caught them, they both tackled them and Meg began beating Erik with her purse and Christine began beating Raoul with that freaky swan bed Erik keeps in his lair. Eventually, the girls switched and starting beating the other guy (I.e., Meg starting beating up Raoul with the swan bed, Christine beating up Erik with the purse)

Sometime when all this was going on, Mme. Giry, in a dangerous combination of too much sugar and caffeine, came in. When she saw the girls beating Raoul and Erik, she whipped out her ballet cane and joined in on the fun, beating whichever guy came in her reach.

"Hey, what are we beating up the guys for? Not that I mind beating people up, cause I totally love it, just like I love caffeine. Caffeine, Caffeine, Caffeine. Can't ever have too much caffeine. Or sugar. Sugar, Sugar, Sugar. So, why are we beating them up again? Cause this is fun" Mme. Giry said, talking super fast

"We'll tell you in a minute! Just keep beating them!" Christine yelled over the guys screams of pain

"O.K., fine with me. I love beating people. Just like I love sugar. Sugar, sugar, sugar. I love-"

"Mother, would you shut up already!" Meg yelled

"Okey dokey"

Ten minutes later, everyone was exhausted. They all managed to drag themselves up off the floor and stared at each other until Mme. Giry broke the ice with more caffeine-sugar induced rambling. After everyone slapped her and shut her up, the drama continued while the four continued their fighting and arguing and Mme. Giry continued her lunatic rambling, unaware no one was listening to her.

"Raoul, I can't believe you'd bet against me for Pete's sake!"

"Who's this **_Pete_**? Someone I should know about?" Raoul asked, trying to raise one eyebrow suspiciously but finding out he was too wimpy to do even that, so he pushed it up with his finger.

"Don't change the subject here Raoul"

"Erik, how could you do this? We're engaged and you're still subconsciously choosing Christine over me! You still love her!"

"Meg, I love you! Christine was just a safer bet and you wanna have some money saved up for our future right?"

"That's not the point you moron! There is no mutual trust in our relationship! How do you expect to build a solid relationship if you love Christine more than me?"

"Meg, have you been reading those marriage physiology crap books again?"

"I love beating people with this neat cane. Especially when I'm on a sugar high. I love sugar. And caffeine. Wait, which one do I love more. Sugar, caffeine. Caffeine, sugar. Hmmmm..."

Christine turned to Meg " Hey, how are you so sure you won?"

Erik turned to Raoul "Yeah, idiot, how are you so sure she won?"

"There you go, taking Christine's side again!" Meg replied, exasperated

"What are we talking about again?" Raoul asked

While everyone started shouting at one another, Mme. Giry broke in "Hey, whoa, hey everybody LISTEN!" She proceeded to whack everyone with her cane until they were all listening

'Now, from what I understand here, Meg somehow won the bet using some fancy logic Christine doesn't understand and Erik thinks he does. Raoul and Erik are in hot water for making a bet on their wives/fiancées bet that Raoul won-"

"That was never proven true!" Erik interrupted

"-since we think Meg won the bet. Correct?"

Everyone nodded

"Alright, well, I say that Meg won the bet"

"WHAT?" everyone asked

"You heard me. Meg won"

"You're just saying that cause she's your daughter" Christine sobbed

"Yeah, no dip. And also because she has low self esteem"

"Hey!" Meg protested

"Anyways, since Meg was smart enough to come up with a reason for saying why she claimed to have quit, she didn't actually lose. Plus, Christine was in this lair screaming she quit before Meg ever was."

"Well, yeah, I guess" Christine admitted grudgingly

"So, Meg wins the bet, and Raoul wins the stupid bet he and Erik made. And that's final Erik and you know it!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Erik cried, sinking to his knees and grasping his heart "I can't take it! Isn't it bad enough I was beaten by gypsies, shamed into torturous isolation from the rest of humanity, lost the only girl I ever loved-"

"EXCUSE ME!" Meg exclaimed

"All right, lost the only girl I ever loved _(Before I met Meg, the love of my life)to _Raoul here, and now I just lost a bet to Foppy McFopperson! Are you people trying to give a fifty year old man a heart attack here?"

"Wait a minute, Erik, you're only about thirty" Christine pointed out

Erik sighed "So I was supposed to be thirty or so in the movie! Every other freakin' version of POTO ever produced, I'm fifty or older!"

"Yeah, but we're only going off the 2004 movie here, so you're thirty. Case closed... Continue" Meg said, smiling sweetly

"As I was saying, are you trying to give me a heart attack here? I can't take this!"

"Suck it up and give me the money already, you wuss" Raoul bravely said.

Well, after Erik strangled Raoul, Christine and Meg decided to work out the manner of payment for their bet, since it was now kinda official Meg won (thanks to Mme. Giry)

"So, Christine, since you're the LOSER! We agreed the loser (that's you) had to do whatever the winner (that's me) said for a month"

"Wait a sec, I thought we agreed the winner would wear a skimpy nightgown and the loser would wear a playboy bunny outfit for the rest of the day and you'd both come down to my lair!" Erik protested

After both girls slapped him senseless (again) they continued working out their manner of payment

"So, Christine, since you lost, you have to be my slave-I mean helper-for a month."

"Do I get paid?"

"No"

"Holidays?"

"No"

"Sick days?"

"No"

"Then what the hell do I get?"

"The painful and tortuous reminder of who won this bet" Meg said sweetly

Meanwhile, Erik and Raoul were trying to work out their manner of payment

"Erik, face it: you lost, and I won. Whoa, that sounded cool. Kinda like when it happens twice in the movie; I won the sword fight, you lost, I won Christine's heart, you lost her-"

"All right all right, I get the picture already!"

"So anyway, where's my money?"

"What money?"

"You know, the money I get for winning the bet"

"Oh Raoul, you misunderstood me. You don't get any money'

"I don't?"

"No, you just get to be married to Christine"

"Oh O.K."

Raoul paused a few moments and somehow saw what Erik was doing "Hey wait a sec! I'm already married to Christine! You still owe me a hundred francs"

"Damn it Raoul, aren't you supposed to be the stupid one here?"

"Yeah, but money and appearance are the only two things I know about. Come on, I'm loaded with dough. You thought I didn't know anything about money?"

"Well, yeah. But wait, you're already loaded. I'm just a poor deformed guy starving underground. Wouldn't the memory of winning this bet mean more to you than money?"

"Erik, you make 20,000 francs a month. How in the hell could you possibly be poor?" Mme. Giry asked, coming up behind him

"I blew it all on candles and that retarded looking swan bed"

"Erik, just suck it up and hand him the money already" Mme. Giry sighed. The effects of Caffeine were beginning to wear off, so Mme. Giry hurriedly rushed over and drank a few more cups from Erik's latte machine and rushed back over.

Erik slowly pulled his checkbook out of his pocket, groaning the whole time. He grudgingly filled out the check and handed it over to Raoul, groaning in pain "Oh, I can't take it! Here, just take the damn check already. Oh god, what's the world coming to when I start losing bets to _Raoul_ for god's sake? I mean, it was bad enough when we tied in the last story, but _losing_ a bet to him? _And _paying money when he's already loaded? This just sucks" Erik moaned, burying his head in his hands while Raoul jumped up and down with the check shouting "I won, Erik lost! I won, Erik lost!"

Eventually, Meg and Christine came over. Meg looked exceedingly happy, considering she just won a bet, no longer had to deal with a fop, and now had her own personal slave-I mean helper- for a month

"So did you two work something out?" Erik said

"You bet we did"

Erik and Christine both groaned

"Oh god Meg, don't say the word 'bet' anymore!" Christine pleaded

"Anyway" Meg said "Christine and I worked something out. Tell them Christine"

"I get to be Meg's personal helper for a month starting today since I lost the bet. This means I have to cook (since Meg obviously can't), clean, serve her stuff, run errands for her, pick out all her clothes, do any remaining chores,do whatever else Meg says and do various things to satisfy her sick needs and amusements" Christine sighed

"This is so unfair! Everybody was so mean to me! They didn't even give me a chance! I shoulda won! Being Assistant Ballet Mistress is so hard!This is so unfair! I..."

While Christine rambled on, Meg noticed something strange and burst out laughing "Erik, what did you do to your lair? Oh my god, look at this place! Geez, did Christine redecorate it?"

Erik's face was turning beet red, and now Christine had stopped throwing a fit and everyone was looking at the lair since Meg had pointed it out

"Whoa. I never noticed this" Raoul said

"Raoul, you never notice anything." Christine pointed out "Just like the time I bought that beautiful new scarf and you didn't even notice! You are so insensitive! I can't believe..."

Erik sighed with relief. Christine would go off into another one of her fits and everyone would gradually forget about his lair.

Wrong

"And that scarf was so pretty! Oh, just like this scarf coming out of the sewing machine right here! Which reminds me, what were we talking about again?" Christine asked

"How wimpy and ridiculous Erik's lair looks right now! My god, Erik, you watch QVC! Seriously! This is too good to be true!" Mme. Giry said super fast and ran around, snapping pictures of Erik's un-phantomly like lair to sell to the National Enquirer.

"My gosh, Erik, it looks like I decorated the place! I'm so flattered!" Christine sobbed, giving Erik a big hug (much to his delight and Meg's discomfort)

" Erik, dude,are you nuts? I'm supposed to be the fop here and my room doesn't even look like this!" Raoul muttered

"It's official:. Erik's totally gone off the deep end" Meg groaned "You actually watch QVC?"

" Yeah, So what?"

"It's a total wuss network!" Raoul said

"My god! I do not believe this. I'm a wimpy ballerina and I don't even watch QVC!" Meg said

"Hey! QVC is a convenient home shopping network! How else do you expect me to shop? Every time I do go out shopping, I get mobbed by

A) Screaming Phangirls

B) Angry mobs

C) Terrified little children or

D) Any combination of the above. So how else do you expect me to get basic necessities I need to survive?"

"Erik, the Ultimate Crocheting Kit, a Singer Sewer 2000 Sewing Machine and _How to Embroider for Dummies_ aren't basic necessities you need to survive." Mme. Giry pointed out

"What? It's a great hobby?" Erik said pitifully

"Yeah. Sure" Meg said "What's with all the sewing machines ? That's like, the ultimate sign of femininity "

" Is not"

"Is too"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

While this was going on, Mme. Giry (looking for more coffee) found something of interest

"Whoo hoo, Erik, what's this?" Mme. Giry asked. holding up a beautiful sparkling diamond necklace

Meg, Christine and Raoul all starting drooling at the sight of it

"It's a present"

"For who?" Meg asked suspiciously.

Well, Erik couldn't very well explain he saw the diamond on QVC and it looked so sparkely and irresistible he just had to have it, but when he got it, he had absolutely no use for it and was planning on giving it to Christine

"It's a birthday gift. For you!" Erik said

"Erik, my birthday isn't for six months. You never remember stuff like this" Meg pointed out

"Sure I do. Happy Early Birthday Sweetheart!" Erik pried it out of Mme. Giry's hands and flung it at Meg

Meg squealed with delight while Christine and Raoul both started crying at the loss of the sparkly diamond. Everyone gathered around Meg and began admiring her necklace.

So,Erik thought, this was the perfect distraction. With everyone admiring the diamond necklace, they would eventually forget all about his ridiculous looking lair and how he lost the bet to Raoul.

Wrong (again!)

Raoul (somehow) tore himself away from the shinny diamond necklace and made his way up to the stereo which was muted. He un-muted it and blasted Toby Keith's "_Beer For My Horses_". Raoul figured out how you got the C.D. out of the drive. He wondered what it was, so he took a look at it

"Erik, you listen to Toby Keith?"

"Yeah"

"But, he's like, a total hillbilly redneck country singer. I though you only listened to fine,artistic classical music and dignified, cultural opera pieces" Christine said

Everyone starred at her since no one believed something that smart could come out of Christine Daae's mouth

"What? It's what he told me all those times when I begged him to listen to Disney Sing-Along Classics." she said in her own defense

"Hey Erik, it's cause the babes in his music videos are totally hot right?" Raoul prodded

"Totally" Erik agreed, imaging totally hot babes in his lair right now

Meg gave him a death glare

"I mean, they are pretty, but nobody could possibly be more beautiful than my gorgeous Meg. Right honey?" Erik said sweetly. He put his arm around Meg's shoulder and started walking out towards the car, desperate to get everyone out of here.

"Nice save. But you still don't have a mannequin of me in a wedding dress down here like you do of Christine (which you still haven't taken down)"

"I'll get to it"

Suddenly, Raoul started laughing uncontrollably. Erik and Meg turned around.

"Raoul. Raoul, what's so funny?" Christine asked, kinda worried

"It's just, my god! All these years, everybody kept saying I was the fop and look at this place! It screams "I'm A Fop!" I mean, sewing machines, QVC, jewelry. Kinda weird for the infamous Phantom of the Opera huh?"

Raoul doubled over to the floor laughing. And I guess the laughter was contagious, because soon, everyone started to see the humor in it and everyone (except Erik) was doubled over on the floor laughing and muttering things that made them laugh more.

Erik was now furious. This was an outrage! People shouldn't be laughing at the Phantom of the Opera! They should be cowering in fear of him. He saw everyone's faces swirling around him, laughing and torturing him. Erik couldn't take it. He cried out in rage and pulled out his Punjab Lasso and grabbed Mme. Giry's ballet cane and starting strangling Raoul and attempting to beat any of the girls close to him with the cane. Raoul was crying for air and Meg screamed at him

"ERIK!"

"What! I'm a little busy right now!" he yelled back

"You can't hit girls! It's only 1870! This is a total no-no!"

"So?"

"So you can't do it! And lay off the strangling. You're gonna kill Raoul!"

"That's the friggin' point here Meg!"

Meg groaned and she and Christine pulled the lasso (and a furious Erik) off Raoul. Everyone strated screaming at each other (yet again) and Mme. Giry was the peacemaker (yet again)

" WOULD EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?"

Everyone shut up

"Okay people, quit beating each other up! It's obvious you people have some major problems-"

"Excuse me!**_We_** have major problems? Who's the screaming, violent, hyper caffeine/sugar addict here? Huh?" Christine asked accusingly

"All right, all of us have some major problems. But beating people up and making ridiculous bets are not going to solve them. We all learned that everyone's lifestyle isn't as perfect as we think it is, and we should be grateful for all the good things we have in our own lives."

-**Mme. Giry scans over the last few sentences she just said**-"

"My god, I sounded like some brainless wimp off of one of those sappy _Lifetime_ movies. Did I really sound that bad?"

"YES!" Everyone responded

"All right, well, Erik, you lost the bet. Deal with it and try to make peace with Raoul. O.K?"

At this point, Meg forced Erik closer to Raoul and Christine forced Raoul closer to Erik and they unwillingly shook hands and made a truce as everyone looked on and went "Ahhhhhh"

"I guess we could-uggggh- try to get along" Erik said "Oh god, I feel like I'm gonna puke."

"Let's be best friends forever and ever Erik! O.K.?" Raoul squealed, sounding as gay as he really is

"No. Quit touching me already. It's freakin' me out here" Erik said

The girls sighed, figuring that was as civil as the two morons would ever be towards each other.

"And Meg and Christine? You guys need to give yourselves more credit and stop getting into these stupid minor squabbles." Mme. Giry said

"I guess so" Christine said

"Fine with me" Meg said

"Great. So, Where's some caffeine?" Mme. Giry said, bouncing up and down

Everyone laughed and started saying more random, stupid, sappy, happy ending things the authoress doesn't feel like typing up, considering how long this ending is already :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Epilogue_

_Well, everything after that went pretty well. Christine had to serve Meg's every whim and want for a month afterwards, and perform for her sick amusements. It was pure torture. And Meg loved every minute of it. Christine was permanently scarred for life, but she eventually got over it, with some fits and whining in between. The two remained best friends and had their occasional idiotic fights and fits._

_Erik and Raoul managed to get along without killing one another (well, without Erik killing Raoul I should say :) They still acted like total idiots, but they never did anything as stupid as the bets they made. Christine (eventually) loosened up and let Raoul watch some football( except for halftime when the cheerleaders came out) Meg continued to harass Erik and act extremely possessive, but he eventually became used to it._

_Erik and Meg did get married. It was a very happy occasion, except for the fact that Meg forced Erik to let Raoul be his best man, and Meg slapped Erik senseless on their honeymoon night for starring at Christine in her extremely low cut Matron of Honor's Dress._

_Everything pretty much stayed the same after that. Erik continued to be a sarcastic genius obsessed with QVC, crocheting and torturing people (and secretly still loved Christine, but never when Meg was around). Christine continued to be an emotionally unstable (but very cute) ditz. Raoul continued to be a girly, wimpy, fop that Erik tormented every chance he got. Meg continued to be a freakishly controlling ballerina who eventually became Head Ballet Mistress when Mme. Giry retired and she still had low self esteem. And Mme. Giry continued to be a violent, strict and extremely hyper caffeine/sugar addict, but everyone loved her anyway._

_And so, everyone in this twisted weird story learned their lessons; the guys learned that The Grass **Isn't** Always Greener on the other side of the fence. And the Girls learned that sometimes, having A Girl's Day Out is a lot harder than they expected. And I hope everyone enjoyed this series of freaky and funny stories about what happens when stupid bets the POTO characters make go a little bit askew._

_**THE END**_

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**_Okay, show's over everybody, drive safe, buh-bye. And Oh yeah, LEAVE A REVIEW! This is your last chance ever to review this story! Don't miss it! Come on, you know you want to ;)_**

**_BroadwayGirl257_**


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